All my bags are packed.....

As I sit here in a hotel room in the middle of VA, already deep into a workday, I cant help but think about how much I have left at home.  I am thankful that my leaving for work as become easier for my girls.  They(particularly Reagan) used to cry so much every time I would leave.  I have done it enough now to where they are used to it.  Plus, with the wonders of skype, we had a meal together last night.  Unscheduled we all had pizza and I got to watch them eat and they got to watch me.  We talked as if I was there with them.  That helps too.  None of that replaces the physical touch of one of their hugs, the unexpected hugs, the ones that make you glad to be alive.  I hope someday they appreciate all that we do for them, most importantly how hard it is for me to leave them behind. 

Im lucky to have a job, and one that often takes me to good locales.  I have driven all over the eastern part of the country and flown all over North America.  When I drive though it obviously gives me a lot of time to think.  When I think, my thoughts always go back to my 5 girls back in Lexington, and to my parents.  I drive up and down I-75, I see a particular Cracker Barrel or McDonalds where I stopped with the girls on this trip or that trip.  I see a McDonalds on I-75 where I stopped with my family after a trip to Gatlinburg with both sets of parents.  There I watched out the window as my Parents who were following behind me passed on through on their way back to Louisville.  I remember watching them drive by thinking about how nice it was to take another trip with them AND my family.  Almost every rest stop/pit stop/location has some value to me.  Yesterday I drove over the Blue Ridge Mountains from Lexington VA, to Farmville VA.  Farmville is just outside of Appomattox.  I couldn't help but think about the first time I ever went there was when Brooke and I were just driving around, before kids, before the pressures of life got to us.  I miss them- I wish they were with me.  I will be home tomorrow and I can't wait. I told Brooke the moment I checked in here I started mapping my drive home if only for a little while before my next trip.

I guess all of this is one reason I am so looking forward to my family vacation this June.  I am trying not to get TOO excited, in case something happens and we cant go.  We have already paid for it so I don't have to worry about that but you never know.  I am so looking forward to it so that I can create more experiences/memories for them.  I told Brooke that my earliest memories come from about the age that Reagan is right now so I want to start with great memories for them.  I also am so excited to have our picture taken underneath the "Welcome to Florida" sign at the Florida Welcome Station.  All of my family, including Hadley.  This was something my family did growing up every year.  I get to live out some of my greatest memories growing up with my family, and create new ones for them.

Well maybe I am not telling the complete truth. Without question I want to create memories for them but I think I want to for me as well.  There are a lot of lonely miles I travel and sometimes out of nowhere doubt of why I do this creeps in.  Driving down the road it helps give you a little boost to get home when you see a seemingly normal spot to everyone else  but to you it is a place where one of my girls threw a big fit, or a place where we stopped to let them play in a particular playground.  I see that place, smile, and have a little bit more energy to get me home on.