The 9/11 lesson I wasn't ready to give.

I, like most people, have watched almost everything I could with the build up of the 10 year anniversary of 9-11.  I wont go into details of my day, I remember that day exactly... as do most Americans.  Almost everyone remarks/remembers what a beautiful day it was that day.  They said on TV tonight that it was something like 3600 + days ago.  I can't believe all that I have personally done since then.  Thankfully almost all my loved ones are still with me. I have grown, my family has grown, I have changed a lot since that day.  Also, I have taught many lessons since that day.  In the classrooms, on the fields, courts, chapter houses, and in my own own house.  There was one last week I wasn't prepared to teach.

I was watching something on TV last week and was getting emotional about what I was watching.  Both Reagan and Carolina picked up on it and they knew to tread lightly around Daddy.  An aspect of 9-11 I had never thought of until that very moment was how would I explain it all to my children.  Unfortunately, something caught Caroline's eye on TV.  She has always had a strange obsession with fire and when she saw a plane, fly into a tower, and burst into flames.... she immediately began to ask questions about what she saw.  I looked at Brooke who was cooking the dinner and she looked back at me.  Both of us froze for a second.  What do you say? How do you describe the most horrific day in America's history to two little girls?  As a history teacher by training, I could explain exactly what happened in great detail.  I could even include the geo-political factors that contributed as well.  None of that would make sense to a 4 and 5 year old.  You also didnt want to terrify them of every plane or big building they saw.  Caroline is afraid of enough things already we didnt want to compound that issue.   Brooke can do so many things well, one of them is talking to and relating to younger minds.  She began to explain with the prefect amount of detail exactly what happened, and in the perfect tone of voice.  That the men didn't bring a fireball onto the plane (like Caroline assumed), it wasn't an accident, and many people didn't make it home that day.  In the end, those who did it were very bad men.  After the explanation you saw the girls shoulders...slump.  And when the gravity of what happened hit them, it made me sad all over again.  Brooke totally bailed me out that day.  I didn't know what to say, how to say, or if I should even say at all.  She handled it with as much grace as you possibly could. 

On 9-11 a nation lost it's innocence.  In a small way, 10 years later, my girls did as well.  They still don't all the way put 2 and 2 together but when they see videos of that day...they know what happened.  It bothers me that the girls live in that world that none of us grew up in.  Scary thoughts of what might happen when we go to the mall or when their Daddy goes to work, are thoughts that never crossed our minds before that day but are a reality in today's world.  We all think of that day often. We will struggle with how to teach our children about that day for all the years to come.  We will never be the same.  We will never forget.