Daddy, is this baseball?

I have blogged about the movie Field of Dreams before and I won't repeat myself.  I will say that it is my favorite movie, a movie that I can't watch without crying.  It always makes me think of the great relationship that I have with my dad and how much I have always enjoyed having "a catch" with him.  If you watch the movie, you know that actually the main character didn't have a great relationship with his father.  In fact, the movie is about redeeming that poor relationship.  That one more chance that whether your relationship was great, or rocky, you wish you had to tell your father how you felt about him.  To tell him that while there might have been issues, you know he did his best- whatever that was for him.  As a father to hear that you are/were appreciated, regardless of all your mistakes, is about all you can ask for.  Everyone who has lost a parent has that same wish... for one more conversation

This Christmas, Mimi wanted to get my father in law a blu ray player.  I knew that I had to get him Field of Dreams for his first blu ray. A special gift from me to him.  While the movie means something very significant to me, I thought it could mean something very sentimental (different) to him.  As I was watching it for probably the 100th time, I realized it had new meaning to me too.  Watching Kevin Costner talk to his daughter about sports (in the movie) is a conversation that I have had tons of times already.  When you have as many girls as I do, I find myself having the same conversation over many different times.  My girls are all very well educated in sports.  To me, this movie has always been about my father, now it sort of makes me evaluate myself as a father.

The other day I was watching a football game with Reagan and Baylor Grace. Reagan asked if the team that was playing ever played the Chicago Bears.  Reagan knows four teams right now.  1) UK 2)Alabama (she likes their colors) 3) Chicago Bears and 4) Trinity.  She doesn't understand how they don't all play each other.  So, I was trying to explain the difference between Pro, College, and High School levels.  We were having what I believed to be a very good father-daughter-football moment.  I was loving this conversation.  At the end of my explanation, I was feeling really good about myself and my ability to educate my girls,  Baylor Grace leans over....big blue eyes sparkling..."Daddy, is this baseball?"

Pop and I got some down time this afternoon and we decided to finish Field of Dreams.  I hoped he understood the reasons why I gave him this movie.  It is so much more than a baseball movie.  The final scene hit me hard and like always, I was crying.  I can neither confirm nor deny that  Pop was crying as well.  It was a great moment and I feel that he truly understood why I gave him that movie.  Mission accomplished.

One of the last few lines in the movie is when the father asks his son, "is this heaven?"  Throughout the movie (and even that time) the response is, "no, its Iowa."  Then the son looks around, looks at his wife, daughter, his house, his ability to forgive/make up with his dad, and he thinks to himself...maybe this is heaven?  I understand what he means.  Sometimes I look at my girls and think perhaps this is heaven.

I was lucky as a son because of my father.  I know that as a father myself I have a long way to go but I also realize that those girls are the greatest thing I have ever done.  Not every father/son relationship is good but every father/son/daughter relationship is so important.  Watching the movie tonight was a great opportunity for me to reflect.  I wish that more movies moved you like Field of Dreams.  It really is like "being dipped in magical waters."