A few years ago we decided to move our Christmas gatherings to Gatlinburg, a redneck town in the mountains of East Tennessee. A hillbilly town that Brooke and I love. It is even better now that the girls are getting bigger. We rent out a cabin, all convene there for a weekend of great food, lots of drink, priceless memories, and time spent together. We did this a few years in a row, but work has gotten in the way the past couple of years. Back in August I realized that I might be able to pull together another grand ole Ayers family vacation. I said "girls, gather around the table, Daddy has a big announcement!" Reagan replies: "you took a new job, so we can move back to Lexington?!" Whatever I had to say at that point would be anti climactic. However, we were all excited about the weekend trip to Gatlinburg. It was a trip we talked about for four long months. When the days/weeks were difficult, I would just think about this weekend- and it would get me through. I never fully knew if I could pull it off. While everyone was committed to being there, work might get in the way for my folks, perhaps something else would happen to my in-laws. You just never know. I wouldn't believe it until we all unpacked our cars at the cabin. We were also fortunate to be joined by Brooke Perrin, who is the girls Godmother. She brought her baby boy, they are both (well plus her husband Austin who is doing his residency) very much part of our family. We haven't decided how to break the news to the girls that "Aunt" Brooke isnt really their aunt. Who knows, maybe we never will.
On Thursday, after a very long week of an even a longer semester, we were on our way down. I hopped in the car with Dad, MaMaw hopped in the car with the girls. If anyone was looking forward to this week as much as I was, it was my mother. Im not sure there is anything she enjoys more than being their MaMaw. Let me tell you, she is great at it too. Its been a long year for Mom and Dad too, this was a much needed break for everyone. Dad likes to tease me, about everything, so I was never sure if he was really going to come. When we finally got there, it was surreal. My great family weekend had begun. To top it off, it was the most beautiful cabin in we have ever stayed in with an absolute breathtaking view.
Thursday night dinner was at The Old Mill in Pigeon Forge. Anyone who has been to the area, knows this restaurant. Its a good, old, southern, place to eat. It was a great kickoff to what was going to be a great weekend. PawPaw was a little distracted on his cell phone, MaMaw was awfully quiet. We got back to the cabin around 7, by 7:30 my parents had loaded up the car and were heading back to Louisville. Mom, wasn't feeling well. I wont go into too many details other than we think she will be fine. Just in a lot of pain, in a place where she couldn't get much help. As excited as I was for the weekend, I was now as equally crushed. I never get to spend good time with my parents anymore, especially now that I live in Chicago. Having everyone there (except Patrick) is a rarity, now it was gone....in seemingly an instant. Mom didn't say goodbye to me, and I know why. She was too disappointed that she felt like she was ruining the weekend. She felt like she was letting me down, that if she said goodbye, she would break down in tears. Its about a 35-45 minute drive back to I-40. She cried the entire way. Yes I was angry, yes I was disappointed, but not at her. Just at the situation. I missed her (them), the girls would miss them, the weekend wouldn't be the same. Don't get me wrong, the weekend was still great, but it wasn't the same.
As I sat in a rocking chair on the back deck, I couldn't help but think of the last interview given by Brandon Lee, son of Bruce Lee. Brandon Lee died in sort of an odd way, just like his father did. He died while filming a movie called The Crow, which the subject matter of the movie was very poetic considering the circumstances. (Read about The Crow, here) Regardless, he gave one last interview before dying on the movie set. It struck me as a sophomore in HS, and it sticks with me today. Watch this, and I think you will know what I mean. You dont have to watch the entire thing if you don't want. If nothing else, watch from about the 4:45 to the 5:45 mark. It is a perfect summation of how I feel about this weekend and why I get so excited for events with my family.
Nothing is trivial.
It's very hard for me to comment here, but I think others won't comment until I do. Yes, I could not face you. And, no, you cannot imagine how disappointed I was. And, yes, you ARE Clark Griswold. All I can say is that next year we'll try again. {{{{{sigh}}}}}
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