Nearer My God To Thee

What is courage? I suppose there are a lot of places you can find courage, true courage.  A soldier on the battlefield that goes back into the fire to try and rescue a fallen brother. A parent that holds their child tight when the storm rages outside.  A child, sick in bed, who looks up into her parents eyes with a reassuring look to comfort her parents so that they know the fight will continue.  Or, the courage of a parent to know when their child's fight can't.  A grandfather who holds his wife's hand when it is her time to be called to the Lord.  A child on her first day of school, a parent as they watch their baby go off to college for the first time.  Courage can been seen in a lot of different ways, on a lot of different levels.  

I find that courage is one of those things I have had to work on the most as a parent.  Your kids look to you for comfort, encouragement, to reassure them that things are going to be okay.  When your kid falls, your reaction to her falling has a direct effect on her reaction to the fall.  If you freak out, even when it looks bad, they will freak out too.  If you fight that urge, and remain calm, they will mostly likely do the same.  I remember when we looked up at the ultrasound and were told that we might have lost the baby (Hadley).  I cry all the time, the girls do that to me.  Brooke never cries.  This was one time when roles were reversed.  She cried in that hospital room, and I remember the "fight or flight" feeling building in me.  I knew I had to remain calm, I had to remain strong.  We had the girls at home to think about, and I needed to comfort Brooke.  I didn't think it was fair, we already loved our new baby and didn't want to lose her, but I had to be brave.  I don't think of myself as an overly brave person, I have a lot of fear.  This was one major time I had to remind myself to be brave, or at least appear to be brave.  Too many people counted on me.  There will always be a later time to close the door, turn off the lights, and cry.  In the end, no matter how religious you think you are (or aren't), these trying moments bring you to your knees in prayer.  There are no atheist in a fox hole.   Id like to think my wife is one of the bravest people I know.  Nothing, short of the above example, gets to her.  She is calm, cool and collected.  I draw a lot of strength from her strength.  It is contagious, as is fear.  I think that's why our girls are so well adjusted, because their mother is so stable.  

I have had a few conversations lately about this idea of courage,  I speak of it to SAE a lot.  Do you have the courage to do the right thing?  Do you have the courage to hold others accountable when it is not easy, or popular, to do so?  These are attributes I hope that SAE teaches our young men.  Generally (hopefully), what they face in college does not compare to the trials they will face in life.  I hope our values help them have the courage needed when they do face those difficult times.  Recently,  I was addressing this issue when I asked the audience if they could guess a moment that I thought reflected an extraordinary amount of courage?  Many guessed times of battle (where courage is often showed), some guessed a sports example (where I guess in its own way has its courageous moments).  I then suggested the violinist on the deck of the Titanic.  With hell, literally flooding in all around him, he made the choice to continue to play.  As a result, others joined him.  It was a perfect example of The Serenity Prayer.  

God grant me the serenity 

to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can;and wisdom to know the difference.

The gentleman on the deck didn't panic, he didn't make an effort to do anything other than what he was best at.  He knew he couldn't change what was happening, he accepted his fate, and he made a beautiful moment out of it.  That was courage.

It has been a "pleasure" to share some of my stories with you, thanks for those who continue to come back and read them.  This is a way for me to reach those I love who are far away.  Your love and support gives us strength...courage.