Never meant to last....

I love Jimmy Buffett, who amongst us doesn't?  However, I dont love Jimmy Buffett like the vast majority of people out there do.  Most people get into JB in college, and the only album they own is Songs You Know By Heart.  They can sing every word of Margaritaville, but look at you like you're an alien if you mention Gods Own Drunk, Little Miss Magic, or Steamer.  Like the best Sunday drives, I generally prefer the songs that go off the beaten JB path.  While I have never been drunk, done my bit of smugglin, or some of the other things Jimmy sings out about, much of what he sings about has always resonated with me.

The first concert I ever went to was a Jimmy Buffett concert.  I believe this to be one of the cooler facts of my life, and always enjoy it when its an icebreaker question.  How many people can honestly say that?  I was about 5, it was at Old Cardinal Stadium.  I remember Mom and Dad debating if I should go, but ultimately letting me go.  I also seemingly remember watching some of the concert on Mr Fulner's Chuck Fulner's shoulders.  I remember fearfully looking for a stadium shark when the song Fins was played.  It is probably one of my earliest memories in general.  Thanks to a thing called Google, I can confirm that the show was 7.03.1985, as part of the Sleepless Knights tour (and yes I was five).  Mom and Dad will have to confirm the other details.

Sometimes the important songs come and go, depending on my stage of life.  For instance, the song Steamer, has always reminded me of Brooke, and that time when we fell in love.

You can ignore the pics, they obviously aren't mine.  I appreciate whomever put this together, because its about the only online version (again not a high traffic Jimmy Buffett song).  Anyway, songs come and go depending on what you're facing in life.

Today I was cooking breakfast for the girls when A Pirate Looks At Forty came on (the first clip above). I have heard that song 1000 times in my life.  Its one of the more well known songs, but its one that sort of took on a different meaning to me lately.  This past week I had a birthday, got a little bit older, and am currently facing forty. While Im still closer to 30 than 40 (for a little bit longer), there isnt any going back.  As I mentioned before, Jimmy Buffett also reminds me of my childhood.  I can recall multiple briefcases of Jimmy Buffet tapes being brought with us on our family vacations to Florida.  We were a road tripping family.  We all loved to hop in the family truckster and head to Longboat Key.  We had a few rules as it related to Jimmy Buffet.  We couldn't listen to Jimmy until we go to the Florida boarder, then we had to listen to Margaritaville on full blast.  We would always stop at the Welcome Station, get fresh orange juice, grab all the brochures, then head to LBK.  It was another 5 hours or so of non stop Buffett playing.  Jimmy Buffett reminds me of those good times, those safe times, when I was younger.  I can recall the feeling of being where I belonged when I would stare at the Gulf of Mexico.  Some people believe we are called to the ocean, because the  sound of the waves crashing subconsciously reminds of us when we were in our mother's stomach.  The sounds of the waves are very similar to what we heard at that point.  Could be true, there is an unusual calm and peace I always feel on those white sands.  Inevitably, life's memories seem to flash before your eyes as you watch for the green flash.

So not only am I getting older,  Im getting all those things that come with getting older.  There is some beauty in climbing that ladder, watching the girls grow up is truly a daily gift.  Having someone to grow old with, is one of the greatest gifts of all.  But there are scary moments as well.  Moments when you're not sure if the money will stretch, moments when the lack of any job security makes you uneasy about the future, and moments when a test comes back and the doctor says its "abnormal."   Its all part of the deal.  You cant have the beautiful, without the ugly.

Dad always loved this song, he said one day I would understand.  I think that day has finally come.  Dad and Jimmy are both looking at 70, and this swashbuckler is staring down the infamous barrel of 40.  I guess we are all "pirates" in our own way, and there comes a time when we all realize it was never meant to last.