Its not about the food.

I don't talk about work a lot on social media, at least as it relates to anything negative.  Every negative comment I could say on Facebook or Twitter, can/will be dissected and possibly misinterpreted.  Therefore, I rarely post anything negative on social media, about anything.  However, if we are having #realtalk, it has been a difficult few weeks at work.  Sometimes the pressure is intense, and self doubt creeps in.  Its difficult for it not to.

The one thing that keeps me going is that 90 minutes of the day from 6:00PM to 7:30PM.  I'm generally one of the first in the parking lot at work, but I make it clear that I wont be the last.  Some might think that the "CEO" should sleep on a couch in his office.  I refuse to do that.  The most important thing in my life is those 5 girls at home.  It takes me about 45 minutes to get home every night.  It is lights out at my house at 7:30 sharp.  Taps is played, girls are in bed.  I always enjoy the next hour or so with Brooke, when we catch up on our shows, or just pass out on the couch.  But my highlight is that 6-7:30 block when we are all together.  It literally is the best part of my day.  Therefore, with traffic, if I don't get out of there by 5:30- it isn't happening.  Our time together gets me through all those difficult times.  I work some when they all go to bed, I travel on most weekends.  I have no guilt making sure that I block this small time out for them.

So tonight, per usual when I'm in town, I got home as fast as I could.  It appeared dark when I pulled up the driveway, but I was ready to release the weight of the work day and be surrounded with hugs and shrieks for my homecoming.  Turns out, no one is here.  I then recalled a moment last night when Brooke was talking to me, asking me to do a favor today.  I was immersed at something on my phone, and mentally I was trying to navigate a very difficult situation at work.  After about 3 or 4 minutes of Brooke talking to me, I looked at her and said in an exhausted tone, "I'm not listening to you at all."  I didn't mean to be rude, but I had literally heard zero of what she was asking me to do.  Work, at the moment (and in my mind), was too important.  She didn't deserve that.  She could tell I was distracted, and told me not to worry about it.

I had forgotten about that conversation until I got home about 45 minutes ago.  I was curious as to where my girls were at, and why the house was empty?  That's when I saw this note above.  I recalled Brooke telling me that there was something going on today.  Had I been paying attention, I could have done something to help.  I wasn't, and I didn't.  Brooke could have reacted a lot of ways last night, and she handled it correctly.  Even if I didn't.  She didn't need to cook me dinner,  she didn't need to take care of me.  Not only did she make sure that after a long day I was fed, she made sure (even in her absence) that after a long day....I was loved.

So thank you, Brooke.  Today I wont get my 90 minutes (cause y'all still aren't here), but in a lot of ways, I got something I needed more.  Tomorrow, I will wake up and attack the day in a way that SAE deserves.  Thanks for giving me the support to do so, even when its mentally difficult for me to do so.

6:52 I heard the heard stomping on the back deck, gotta go!