Dear Brooke:

Dear Brooke (In this life),

I am finally writing this long overdue letter to you, I should have done this long ago.  I hope you forgive me for my method of communication. I almost never have a problem with words, yet I feel this is the best way to express how I am feeling.  This will be the first of my many apologies.  As I sit here tonight I cant help but think about how lucky I am to have you.  There is always talk of the 7 year itch in a marriage, I feel it.  I feel it in the opposite way.  Most of the time they say this is when couples get bored with each other and they start to opt out.  After being with you for 10 years I know now, more than ever, how much I need you.  The older I get the more I realize what is important.  I think for the first 4 or 5 years of our marriage I wasn't as sure.  Getting married seemed like the natural progression for us in our relationship but I wasn't always very happy.  You did your best to make a great home but it wasn't always right- at least in my mind.  I realize now that it is because in a lot of ways we were still figuring each other out and that was perfectually natural.  We got married out of love and it is because of love we fought through that forest.  I sometimes got angry when I shouldn't have, impatient when I should have just breathed, and didn't always treat you the way you deserved.  In fact I did a lot of stupid, regretful things,  I am so sorry for how thoughtless I was.  A few events happened to really open my eyes.  1st) the birth of Reagan.  It was the single most beautiful moment of my life.  I was put on this earth to be a father.  You have given me three (almost 4) of the greatest gifts possible.  While your body may not be the same (ha ha) I love you more and find you more attractive now because of all that than I did the day we got married.  I have heard that kids make a bad marriage worse and a good marriage better.  I know which one we have.  2) We moved to Lexington and were really on our own.  Being here we struggled that first year, in so many ways.  We didn't have two nickles to rub together and you were totally lonely.  It has been a pleasure to watch you make so many friends and really flourish here. After I left UK, I really lost a lot of my consistent social network.  You were all I had.  3)  I took the SAE job.  Being gone because of work made us change some things.  Most importantly we continued to grow together and lean on each other. Every day that I am gone I think about how much I want to be with you.  With that SAE job came promotions but with those promotions came stress like we have never seen.  There has been so much this past year that has made me stay up at night, sick to my stomach with anxiety, yet through it all you were there to comfort me.  I find myself more and more leaning on you.  From day to day operations, philosophical work questions, to making me feel better about awful situations, you have been my foundation.   We have come a long way because of the situations we have been in and thankfully I feel they have brought us closer together.  I love you more today than I did yesterday, and probably less than I will tomorrow.   Growing up, Dad was always my best friend and his place at my table will never be replaced.  Sam, John- both are great friends and sometimes I say best friend to describe them.  I joke that Reagan and I are bffs.  Truth be told you Brooke are my best friend, probably always have been, it just took me some time to figure it.  I think Dad can sit back and be thankful at me saying that.  He has always raised me to be a great father, he was a great example of that.  I think he can be proud of the job he did in that regards.  He has also raised me to be a good husband- with that knowing that in order for his son's relationship to work with his wife, she must be his best friend.  Somewhere it probably hurts him just a bit but its bittersweet.  And with that, he is teaching me another lesson.  Someday I will have to give our girls away.  I have to raise them- much in the same way he did me- in order for them to make good desicions so that when the time comes I can give them away.  Step aside, the hardest thing a Dad has to do.  I know Mom and Dad are thankful in the life partner I have and watching that makes everything better to them.  I dont know the future will bring but I do know this.  I promise to you to be a better man and a better husband than I have been.  To be the man you deserve.  You make me want to be better and do more.  You make me want to get out of bed and face those demons to give you the life you deserve.  You make a better man.  Thanks Brooke, I love you more than life. 

"If you live to be 100, I want to live to be 100 minus one day, so I never have to live a day without you"