A beacon of beauty

Tonight Brooke and I watched a special on 9-11.  I am sure that in the next 48 hours, that tragic day will dominate the headlines.  I will never forget that day, and the subsequent days, as long as I live.  I keep thinking about how ugly that day was.  I wonder how someone could think that what happened that day would please their God?  There is so much that 11 years later I still question.  Is there any beauty left out there?

I am confident that there is.  Every time I get down, or every time I get sad, I think of one thing....and one thing first.  This thought is a trigger for me to remind me of all the great things that we have in our lives to be thankful for.    Whenever I need a pick me up, I think of my beautiful, sweet, Caroline.  The great thing about Caroline is that she has no idea how beautiful she is.  Honestly, she doesn't care.  She sees the good in everything.  She is the first to give you a hug and tell you that she loves you.  She always looks for the silver lining.  Most of the time, she IS the silver lining.

Today I took her on a date.  Just her and I.  She is so incredibly patient with her mother and I.  Everyone else seemingly gets all the attention and she is okay with that.  She is happy with the leftover scraps.  But today she was so excited because it was just her and I.  I took her to her favorite restaurant, "Red Robbins."  We ate and ate and ate.  I told her I wanted to go to Best Buy afterwards to get my birthday present.  She was excited about that too, as long as I got something for me that "we both agreed on."  She talked and talked and talked, and when she wasn't talking, she just sat there and smiled out me.  She could not have been happier.  She was thrilled with just a simple meal.  

She is very black and white and follows all the rules.  Every time I toot or burp, she says "Daddy, wheres your manners?"  She makes sure that any of her sisters (or random people) who are doing wrong are told so.  Even Hadley doesn't catch a break.  According to Caroline, Hadley must follow all the rules too.  For my birthday she said a hug and a kiss was my birthday present, she "didn't have a chance to go buy me anything."  Caroline is always a walking Facebook status.  There is no telling what is going to come out of that mouth and it is inevitably hilarious.   The best thing about Caroline's personality is the joy that she finds in everything.  Every gift she gets is the greatest gift ever.  Every movie she sees is her favorite.  Every adventure she goes on is the best one ever.  She is an eternal optimist.  She loves Star Wards and Jack Sparrow.  Doesn't care much for sports but if she can sit on the couch with me, she will watch just about anything.  Caroline has never met a stranger and makes friends in every situation.  Things come much easier for Reagan than Caroline but it never seems to get her down.  However, you should see Caroline dance at one of our nightly dance parties.  Caroline has some serious, scary good, dance moves.  She has great rhythm.   Not only is my world better with Caroline in it, I think everyone's around her is too.     

And then you have her outside. She was a very bald baby with big ears.  It was difficult to ever see her face, because she always had her thumb in her mouth.  She has a crooked eye when she doesn't wear her glasses and a part time eye patch when she does.  She is short, thin, and fragile looking.  Individually it doesn't work, but together it is beautiful.  My father always said that Julia Roberts individually didn't work.  Her lips? Too thin.  Her nose? Too long.  Despite all that, when you look at the total Julia Roberts picture she is beautiful.  I think the same thing can be said for Caroline.  She is even prettier now with her big girl glasses.  I get it, I'm biased.  She is my kid and I am supposed to think that.  But you know what? I am damned lucky to be her father.  

I worry about Caroline because this world can be tough on a girl like her.  I suspect she will get run over time and time again. But youre never really judged by how many times you get knocked down, its how many times you get up.  She always gets up.  We can learn a lot from her.  I hope that this mean and ugly world does not change her, because she is what is right with this world.  She can make this place better simply by being her.  When I am down and out, when I need a happy place, it is Caroline.  She is so beautiful inside and out, and she doesn't even know it.  

So this song is for Caroline.  It makes me think of her every time I hear it.