Last Sunday we sat down at dinner for a great meal of lasagna. My wife makes very good lasagna, and the girls were eating it up. Even Baylor Grace, who only eats fruit (or any candy I sneak her). Things were going well until a very personal, important, issue came up. After some back and forth between Brooke and I, the discussion became a heated argument. The issue or point of the argument is private, and I wish for it to remain that way. Who is to blame, who was wrong, doesn't matter either. When you get to that point in front of your children, you both are to blame. Brooke and I almost never fight, so this was something that took the girls by surprise. I vividly remember watching them during the "discussion" and it was like they were watching a tennis match. Their heads were going back and forth. It got to the point where dinner wasn't going to continue, at least for Brooke and I. Unfortunately, the argument did. Neither one of us would back down. Brooke needed to get out of the house and get away from me. So she grabs the baby and storms out. However, I knew she would not go far for three reasons: 1) she didn't have shoes on 2) the baby was dressed in nothing but a diaper 3) my truck was blocking her way out. It sort of took the wind out of her sails. So, I gathered some things and took off. I would get out of the house and give her space.
This was devastating for the girls to see Daddy leave. They didn't/don't realize that sometimes you just need to blow off some steam and go away. I drove around for a long time. I even tried to go see a movie. The first song that came on my radio was this song:
I honestly believe that it was God sending me a message. I couldn't help but think of the look on their faces when I left, all 5 were crying. At that point it didn't matter if I was right, it didn't matter if I felt totally screwed. A Pyrrhic victory is no victory at all, when its your family involved. It didn't take long before I was back home giving Brooke a hug. Kenny was right in the song above, that is the good stuff.
The girls were super happy to see their Daddy in the morning. It was like nothing had happened but we all knew it had. On Monday we went to Chilies for dinner. All the proceeds that night went to St. Jude. Talk about putting things in perspective. I was looking forward to dinner all day, because I really wanted to send the girls a message. The first thing I said to them was that I loved their mother more than anything. I followed it up with telling them how much I loved them. Most importantly, they never had to worry about us leaving, and that sometimes we need to just get away for a bit. Reagan said, "yeah but you were really mad." I was, and I told them I was. When all was said and done, I wanted them to know that its okay if your parents get into a fight now and then. What is more important is for them to see their parents make up too. Just as the girls occasionally fight with each other yet still love each other, sometimes that happens with Mom and Dad too.
Honestly I feel like things are different with the girls. They seem to be much more appreciative of me, excited to be around me, and loving on me. Especially, Caroline. She was the most devastated with me leaving, and has not left my side since. That's sort of funny because she is BFF with Brooke. It also makes sense because she is as emotional as I am. You would think a girl wouldn't like it when her father calls her "Junior." It totally fits with her.
Its not all that bad for kids to see their parents occasionally fight, but its very important for them to see them make up too.
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