A walk to remember...

This weekend was my first weekend home in FOREVER, by forever I mean at least a month.  I have been working non stop, I was looking forward to sitting around and doing nothing for once.  Brooke had other plans.  A week or so ago, with slight trepidation in her voice, she asked if I would do this walk with/for her. It was a walk I didn't really want to do. Im tired, worn out.   I wasn't sure what the walk was about,  but I could tell it was important to her so I signed on.  Most Breast Cancer Awareness events take place in October,  its unusual to have something take place in May.  Regardless, this was a special walk for Brooke, and she wanted all of us to do it.

We got up and out the door by 8 this morning.  It was a cool, overcast day.  It would have been a great morning to lay in bed and watch TV, but this was important to Brooke.  We got there and we were surrounded by pink.  I saw lots of people in crazy pink outfits.  It looked as though the cotton candy monster had thrown up on Park Ridge.  I saw people of all races, ages, and backgrounds.  I saw survivors who were celebrating another day, I saw fighters who were standing strong underneath a wig.    I saw one fighter who is our age, with three kids.  This was a lady Brooke had worked so hard for during a recent consignment sale.  I probably gave Brooke a hard time for working so hard for someone I didn't know, it hit me like a ton of bricks when I finally met this lady.  I saw husbands who looked lost (as we almost always do anyway) because they were surrounded by constant reminders of the fact that they might lose their loved one in this battle, and I saw husbands (like me) who were just thankful for the good health of their spouse.

Being there brought me back to when we found out Mimi (Brooke's mom) had BC.  They pretty much found out on their way up to Louisville to visit us.  I remember a private moment when Pop (Brooke's father), my dad, and I, cried together.  We were alone and we knew it was safe to cry. I can only guess why we were crying.  I think Pop was crying because he knew the hell he went through with his Cancer, twice.  The agony of having that happen to your wife was too much for him (as it is for any of us) to bear.  I bet my dad was crying because any time you talk about Cancer, he cant help but think of what it did to his father, and he certainly didn't want that struggle to befall two people he loved.  I cried because I knew how it would effect Brooke.  Mimi is my wife's hero, her hero who was now in the fight of her life.  We brushed away the tears and tried to put on a brave face, because we are men....thats what we were supposed to do. We would go out and face this problem head on, we are supposed to be brave.  In reality, I think the only person who didn't cry (openly), and the bravest of us all that day...was Mimi.  Isn't that the way it normally is though?  The "brave men" turn to mush when the idea of something like this hits their loved ones.   The woman are the brave ones, they always are.

Mimi fought her Cancer and won, just like Pop twice did.  Just like my mother once did. You could say that Brooke and I are unlucky because 3 out of 4 parents have been stricken by Cancer.  In reality I think we ARE lucky,  because our parents have moved into the survivor category.  I remember the week Reagan was born, a news story said that a girl born today (February of 2006) would never die from Breast Cancer.  I can only hope.  Its bad enough to worry about my wife and my mothers with this awful disease.  Now, I have to worry about it for my 4 girls.    Cancer changes everything, it stays with you even when its "gone." Cancer makes you stop and smell the roses, Cancer makes you appreciate the little things in life, and Cancer gets your ass off the couch to go do a 5k in honor of someone you love.

Right at the starting line there was a pink fire truck. This truck goes all over the country in support of the women who have fought this disease.  Its covered in sharpie messages from survivors, loved ones, and ones left behind.  Despite all the craziness going on, Brooke got the girls up on the truck to sign it....it was important to her. Now the girls message will travel all over the country, too.

Before long, we were off.  I was pushing Baylor Grace in a stroller, I pushed her the whole way.  When we got done, she gets out and sighs..."my legs are so tired!"  Really, Baylor Grace?  Caroline sat in the double stroller that Brooke was pushing.  She counted a whole bunch of the way, last I heard she was around 700.  Hadley, was talking on her hand phone.  Hadley wasn't making much sense, but I could tell by her tone that the conversation was very serious.  Reagan, to her credit, walked almost the whole way.  I told her that I was proud of her and that Mimi would be too.

Brooke wanted us to do something together as a family, get some exercise, and do this walk in honor of her mother. I'm not sure the girls totally understood why we were doing the walk, but we told them enough times that they started to catch on. It was a walk I originally didn't want to do, but I am glad she made me do it.    I was there for Mimi, but I was also there for Brooke....this was important to her.

It was a walk to remember for sure.  Originally I thought this was a walk I didn't want to do,  I realized it is a walk that I hope we never have to do again.