Sometimes, I have failed as a friend.

This is literally, one of my favorite movie clips off all time.  I honestly believe it sums my personality up, 100%.  I'm fortunate to have lots of people across this country that I care about. I was overwhelmed and honored by the support of my SAE Brothers this past Convention.  With all groups, there are a few that stand out, a few you become naturally closer too.

There are few guys from my past that rise above the rest.  You had Brad Beckman & Jonathan Cummins.  Both incredible men, men who now have even better families.  I was super close to them in college, and we attempt to remain close now.  But then you have John Roberts, Craig Alexander, and Sam Adams.  John Roberts was a great athlete, all around stud.  We didn't become friends till later in college, then we became good friends.  We became better friends when in Key West for Spring Break our senior year John thought he was going to get his butt kicked by some guy who thought John was taking his girl from him.  This was probably true, John could have gotten any girl he wanted.  We didn't forge a bond because of the potential fight, we forged a bond because we knew John was going to get beat down (sorry John), but there I was standing next to him.  It would have been ugly, but I didn't care.  John Roberts "was my friend."  Then you had Craig Alexander.  He was the smart one of the bunch.  He missed out on that potential beat down (yes he would have been standing there next to us) because he thought staying home from that Spring Break to study for the MCAT was a good idea.  For a while that choice was debatable, but now he is a doctor at Texas Children's Hospital.  So, I guess he was right.  Anyway, Craig was another amazing guy in our pledge class, who definitely "started the party!"  I think back to the fall of 1997, about this time of year, and I am thankful that I got thrown together with such a great group of guys.  All of this because of SAE.  Last, but not least, you had Sam Adams.  Sam is a dudes, dude.  He is the best friend a guy could ever ask for. Seriously.   Quick with a joke, always there when things went "South", and he even spent some holidays with my family.  Ill never forget the night we went to a Kenny Chesney concert together, after an opening season football loss, and he was concerned that Trinity would not score a touchdown all season.   Sam, as Trinity's Offensive Coordinator, lead us to a title that season. He is a great football mind, and a better friend.  I miss his friendship on a daily basis.  As great of a guy as Sam is, he out kicked his coverage with his wife, Kim.  He is doing great things at Hoover High School, in Alabama.

What do all three of these men have in common? I missed all of their weddings because of work.  I had to coach a football game when John got married, and I had a SAE Convention during Craig (2009) and Sam's wedding (2013).  Sam's wedding I hated missing the most, I wasn't sure he would ever get married.  He was one of the first non family members to hold Reagan when she was born (he sort of held her like she was a bomb), and I wasn't there for his big moment.

I love all these guys.  We may not be as close as we once were, Id like to think its because we are all spread out across the country.  Life sometimes gets in the way.    I'm glad I was there for Brad and JC's big day, even if me being there probably wasn't noticed either way.  Well it might have been for Jon, because I was in his wedding.   I will never get over the fact that I wasn't there for John, Craig, and Sam's.  Its of little consequence to them (which is the way it should be), but I hope they know how much I regret that work pulled me away.  Their friendship has always meant the world to me.  I am who I am today, partially because of them.

Thank you for being a friend-

It has been a crazy summer, a long time since my last post.  A lot of great things have happened as well.
1)SAE 157th Convention
2) Sam Adams got married
3)4th of July in Nashville
4) FEA Conference in San Antonio
5) Brooke and I celebrated our 10th Anniversary in Kauai, Hawaii.
6) SAE 78th Leadership School
7) Our trip to Chinatown
8) and tomorrow we are going camping.

I have had my mother and father legion of fans ask about when I was going to write my next blog.  Don't worry, it is coming.  Just like television, summer is sort of my time to regroup.  I did a ton I could have blogged about, mainly Hawaii.  However, other than the pics on facebook, that was our time.  That was Brooke's time.  I hope she enjoyed the trip as much as I did.  I was reminded why I fell in love with her, which admittedly I sometimes lose sight of, and why I lover her more today than I did yesterday.

With a new school year coming, my work travel schedule picking up again, I will have many new adventures to blog about.  I appreciate your loyalty, and I look forward to sharing more with you soon.

Trouble with the curve

I finally sat down and watched Trouble With The Curve the other day, and I actually enjoyed the movie.  I love movies in general, I go about once a week.  I saw Man of Steel last week, World War Z yesterday.  I have no problem going by myself either, I just like to go.  I like to be moved, I like to be entertained.  Im not your typical critic, Patrick is better for that.  I don't know technical side of movies, or what goes into making the movie.  I just like to be entertained.

Anyway, so I watched this movie and actually pulled some parallels to my life...something else I like about movies.  Clint Eastwood names his daughter Mickey in the movie because his favorite player of all time was Mickey Mantle.  My father's favorite play was The Mick. Clint doesn't have a great relationship with his daughter, but he connects with her via baseball.  While it is a male dominated field, she loves being around it, because it allows her to be around her father.  My girls, whom I feel I have a much better relationship with than Clint did in his movie, have been heard saying "I don't care Daddy, as long as we are together."  It doesn't matter if we are grilling out, watching a ball game on TV, they just want to be around me.  This is nice, because it wont always be that way.   If you asked Reagan what her favorite movies are, Gone With The Wind would be number 1, The Princess Bride would probably be #2.  If you asked Caroline, #1 would be Pirates of the Caribbean #4, and her second favorite movie would be The Avengers.  Baylor Grace's favorite movie is The Patriot, followed by My Little Pony (not sure how that one got in there), and Ghostbusters.  I think I'm doing a decent job of exposing my girls to things Daddy likes, and showing them the fun movies can bring.

The curve ball has kept so many guys out of The League.  It has been said that the curve kept Castro from the Majors, and it was what kept Michael Jordan out of the Majors as well.  Could you imagine if Castro was a baseball player, or if MJ had never returned to basketball?  How different our world would be.  Its a tough pitch to hit, you have to have patience.  A good curve is going to fall off the end of a table, inpatient hitters swing too soon, and the ball isn't where they thought it was.  You have to stay back on it. Don't jump to conclusions, the ball wont be where you started swinging.  Life is like that.

Life throws you curveballs, too.  I never envisioned I would have 4 girls. I don't know what to do with girls, how to raise them.  I can only raise them with love and support, like my parents did me, and I have to let them know that its okay to like sports, history, pirates, superheroes, and ghost.  Yes, there is great trouble with a curve.  That's okay, the trouble is where there is growth.

Next stop, Cooperstown.

I heard some sportscaster talking on the radio one time about what it takes to be a Hall of Famer.  His argument, in my mind, actually made a lot of sense.  This guy said that if it takes more than once sentence to describe someones career, he shouldn't be in the HoF.  Interesting thought, but if you think about it, it is very true.

Muhammad Ali: The greatest.
Michael Jordan: The best basketball player ever.
Joe Montana: The best QB of all time.
Jerry Rice: The best WR of all time.
Ray Lewis: The best LB of a generation.

The list goes on and on.  The more I try and disprove it, the more it seems to be accurate.  I think the same can be said about my dad.  I have previously blogged a lot about my father.  Let me tell you what he isnt.  He isnt perfect.  I make no claims of having a father who is perfect.  He has flaws like all of us do.  Some of his flaws, he passed onto me.  But let me tell you what he is.  Dad is loyal.  In an age when that word doesn't mean what it once did, he is that to a core.  He and Mom just celebrated their 45th Anniversary, they have been together 50 years.  He doesn't have a lot of friends, but the ones he does, he would literally go to the end of the world for them.  He holds onto to those friends, even if he hasn't spoken to them in a few years.  He is honest.  I have never met a man who is as uncompromising in his integrity.  He might have made more money in life, or maybe gotten a little further, if he had no conscious about doing so on the backs of others.  He wouldn't stand for that.  Dad is passionate.  He doesn't care about a lot, but he cares deeply about a few things. Mom, Patrick, and I were all he had for about 20 years.  That is all he needed.  No matter how bad things got in the outside world, he faced those challenges because of his desire to provide for us.  As long as we are okay, he is fine with everything else.  His family has expanded more than he could have ever imagined, and in ways that are foreign to us (lots of pink).  He loves in a way that sets an example for others to follow. He is a man of faith.  No matter what obstacles that life throws at him.  Challenges that would make most men question their faith, he remains steadfast in his beliefs.  When it comes to his religion, he is an oak. He is funny.  He has a tongue like a sword.  He posses a wit, quicker than a rabbit.  Sometimes he relies on his humor to lighten a mood, where most would not be brave enough to make a joke.   He is smart, he has aged well, and he is goofy.  He is my dad.  I wish I could be with him this fathers day, more than anything in the world.  I'm thankful though that I can still pick up the phone and make that call.  I am thankful that FaceTime is an option.  Our reunion will have to wait just a few weeks.  Tomorrow, I will concentrate on being the Daddy, not the son.  That's the way he would have wanted it anyway.

My father is a sure fire, first round, hall of famer.  Tim Ayers: The greatest man I have ever known.

And let me say this...  While this blog is dedicated to my father, I am blessed to have a first ballot hall of fame father in law, too.  I have said I won the lottery when it came to in laws, but Rojo has been not just a great FiL, but a good friend, too.  Rob Phillips:all a guy could ever ask for, in a father in law.

Walking on water....

Most parents think their kids can walk on water.  Most parents think their kids are the most handsome/prettiest around.  Most parents think their kids are the next Einstein.  Most parents think their kids will cure Cancer.  The truth is generally somewhere in the middle.  I make no grand claims that my kids are any of these things.  Who knows what my girls will do?  I do know they are perfect for me, and thats what matters the most.  You also have to keep things in perspective, which some parents have trouble doing on Facebook.  "Oooh little Johnny (who is 16) put the correct shoe on the correct foot today!"  "Yes, look at little Susie, isn't she the prettiest?" Mother later wonders why no one has liked her status/pic.....

Anyway, I suppose its the way it should be.  Parents should think their kids are wonderful.  The flip side of that, parents should know when they need to correct behaviors of their kids, and not enable their kids...but I digress.  I have a saying around my work, "we aren't curing Cancer."  I use it when someone is overcomplicating something, or when someone is being too dramatic about a situation that does not deserve it.  I.J.A.F., its just a fraternity.  I say that because I want people to keep proper perspective on all things except UK sports in life.

My kids have yet to cure Cancer, they may never do such a glorious act.  Regardless, I have never been as proud of anyone or anything in my life.  Think about that.  I'm proud of my parents for working so hard to love each other after 50 years together, and for providing for Patrick and I.  I'm proud of Patrick for fighting the good fight with Dad, and for being a great example to me.  I'm proud of my in laws (both parents and brother's families), they all inspire me.  I'm even proud of the many SAE's I have come across.  From Dick Myers (former Chairmen of the Joint Chiefs of Staff), Tim Sirota- who fought in Iraq twice, to come back and start a SAE chapter at his school, and has now become a great undergraduate brother.  I'm around inspiring people everyday.

 Having said that, I was the most proud I have ever been in my life yesterday.  I have blogged about the efforts my girls have made for the boy named Patrick down in Tennessee.  As we know, Patrick passed away sometime ago.  The girls held bake sales, sold lemonade, and did all they could to raise money to help Patrick fight.  You are always unsure what sinks in with kids, sometimes they each pick something different.  About a year ago, we showed Caroline (all the girls) pictures of Patrick as he got really sick.  Questions were raised about Patrick and his loss of his hair.  When Brooke explained the hair loss, Caroline instantly grabbed onto the idea of her donating her hair to Locks of Love.  Caroline has always had the kindest hearts of all my girls, I was proud of her for wanting to do this.  Your hair has has to be a certain length in order to donate it (which disqualified Reagan and Hadley), so we couldn't cut it last summer.  About every other week, it would come up at the dinner table.  She never wavered, she never changed her mind.  Her face would always light up like a Christmas tree when we asked her about.  She. was. committed.  The funny thing about all this, is Baylor Grace would always say "not me, I want my hair like Rapunzel's!"

We knew we were getting close to the time to cut her hair, yesterday was the day.  Brooke explained to the girls that it does cost some money to make the wigs, so Caroline decided to call her family and friends and ask for donations.  Props to Pop (Brooke's dad) who was the first to be all in.  He might have been the easiest sell of all time.  She would say "I'm donating my hair today, it will cost a lot of money to make the wig, will you send some money......it doesn't matter how much you can send."  She had Brooke call just about everyone in our family, including both Brooke and Callie.  Thanks to everyone for their support.  There was a lot of celebration going on as the money raised increased to over $100.  Baylor Grace took note and decided to do the same thing.  She told Brooke that she wanted to donate her hair, too.  She (Baylor) then went through and called everyone back and asked for some money to donate.  They raised over $200 to help the non profit make the wigs that will use their hair.

This was the proudest day of my life (I think I mentioned that).  I'm thankful that the girls had the awareness, at such a young age, to do something for others.  Life is more fulfilling when you realize and live for something bigger than yourself.  Caroline never backed out, Baylor Grace joined in.  Everyone knows that one of the hardest things for people with Cancer to face, is going out in public without their hair.  Sometimes the littlest things- like having a decent wig- can give them hope and strength to keep on fighting that fight.  I am proud of my girls.  They may not be curing Cancer, but maybe they will help in doing so.

183 Steps

Dear Baylor Grace,

Every Monday, Wednesday and Friday (that I am home), I take the best 183 steps of my day.  It is 183 steps depending on where we park. I know this because we have taken the same basic route, the entire year.  The walk is only about a 3-5 minute walk, but it is something that I love.  It helps me focus on my priorities, and that walk also helps me get my mind right for the day.  Every morning, I lift you out of my truck and we begin our journey to your school.  Within the first few steps, you raise your gentle hand for mine.  I can't tell you how that gesture makes your Daddy feel.  I absolutely love holding your hand.  Normally you are talking, you talk almost the entire way.  I generally don't know what you're saying, but I listen as best as I can.  You also talk about the dead mouse we once found along our walk.  His memory lives on because you always talk about him.  We have done it in beautiful weather.  We have done it in painfully cold weather.  We have done it in the sun, and we did it this morning in the rain.  No matter what, its what I look forward to the most during the work week.

Today was my last day to do it this school year.  You don't have school on Friday, and I am gone all next week.  I wanted to thank you for always requesting me to take you to school.  It helps your mom out a lot, but it helps me too.  Yeah maybe Id work out a little more before work if I didn't take you, but it is a sacrifice I gladly make.  I don't know how much longer you will ask for me to do this, but I assure you my answer will always be yes.

I thought a lot about this past year, after you walked in the door today.  In case you are wondering, it still stings.  I feel like it always will.  It seems like just yesterday I held you for the first time, confused by the color of your eyes.  You are an angel on Earth to me.  It stings because every time you go in, I realize how much bigger you're getting, and how you will need us less and less.  You have learned your letters, you can write your name, you're even starting to read. This years walk took on a whole new meaning though, due to some incidents that we have tried to shield you from.  As a parent, you never expect to drop your child off at school and worry about an insane murderer.  I think Sandy Hook shook a lot of parents to core.  There have been school shootings before, all of them are horrific.  Nothing was as terrifying to see the beautiful, young, faces of those kids about your age.  Maybe it shouldn't be different with HS kid vs. a 1st grader, but it is different.  So letting you go, every other day, is even harder.  Then you have a tornado hit a school and some of those kids aren't coming home that day as a result.  Its just tough, you can literally paralyze yourself with fear thinking of everything that can go wrong.  It has taught me to make sure to hug and kiss you and your sisters (and Mom) everyday before we leave. You never know.  Whether its your first memory when you wake up, going into school, I leave for work, or you go to bed... I want your last thought of me, is of me giving you a hug and kiss, and of me telling you that I love you.  In the end, we just put our faith in God, and we hope that everything goes as planned.

I will miss those weekly walks, Baylor Grace.  I can never express how much you comforted me by placing your little hand into my hand.  I hope you enjoy your summer break, you have earned it.

Love always and forever,
Daddy

A walk to remember...

This weekend was my first weekend home in FOREVER, by forever I mean at least a month.  I have been working non stop, I was looking forward to sitting around and doing nothing for once.  Brooke had other plans.  A week or so ago, with slight trepidation in her voice, she asked if I would do this walk with/for her. It was a walk I didn't really want to do. Im tired, worn out.   I wasn't sure what the walk was about,  but I could tell it was important to her so I signed on.  Most Breast Cancer Awareness events take place in October,  its unusual to have something take place in May.  Regardless, this was a special walk for Brooke, and she wanted all of us to do it.

We got up and out the door by 8 this morning.  It was a cool, overcast day.  It would have been a great morning to lay in bed and watch TV, but this was important to Brooke.  We got there and we were surrounded by pink.  I saw lots of people in crazy pink outfits.  It looked as though the cotton candy monster had thrown up on Park Ridge.  I saw people of all races, ages, and backgrounds.  I saw survivors who were celebrating another day, I saw fighters who were standing strong underneath a wig.    I saw one fighter who is our age, with three kids.  This was a lady Brooke had worked so hard for during a recent consignment sale.  I probably gave Brooke a hard time for working so hard for someone I didn't know, it hit me like a ton of bricks when I finally met this lady.  I saw husbands who looked lost (as we almost always do anyway) because they were surrounded by constant reminders of the fact that they might lose their loved one in this battle, and I saw husbands (like me) who were just thankful for the good health of their spouse.

Being there brought me back to when we found out Mimi (Brooke's mom) had BC.  They pretty much found out on their way up to Louisville to visit us.  I remember a private moment when Pop (Brooke's father), my dad, and I, cried together.  We were alone and we knew it was safe to cry. I can only guess why we were crying.  I think Pop was crying because he knew the hell he went through with his Cancer, twice.  The agony of having that happen to your wife was too much for him (as it is for any of us) to bear.  I bet my dad was crying because any time you talk about Cancer, he cant help but think of what it did to his father, and he certainly didn't want that struggle to befall two people he loved.  I cried because I knew how it would effect Brooke.  Mimi is my wife's hero, her hero who was now in the fight of her life.  We brushed away the tears and tried to put on a brave face, because we are men....thats what we were supposed to do. We would go out and face this problem head on, we are supposed to be brave.  In reality, I think the only person who didn't cry (openly), and the bravest of us all that day...was Mimi.  Isn't that the way it normally is though?  The "brave men" turn to mush when the idea of something like this hits their loved ones.   The woman are the brave ones, they always are.

Mimi fought her Cancer and won, just like Pop twice did.  Just like my mother once did. You could say that Brooke and I are unlucky because 3 out of 4 parents have been stricken by Cancer.  In reality I think we ARE lucky,  because our parents have moved into the survivor category.  I remember the week Reagan was born, a news story said that a girl born today (February of 2006) would never die from Breast Cancer.  I can only hope.  Its bad enough to worry about my wife and my mothers with this awful disease.  Now, I have to worry about it for my 4 girls.    Cancer changes everything, it stays with you even when its "gone." Cancer makes you stop and smell the roses, Cancer makes you appreciate the little things in life, and Cancer gets your ass off the couch to go do a 5k in honor of someone you love.

Right at the starting line there was a pink fire truck. This truck goes all over the country in support of the women who have fought this disease.  Its covered in sharpie messages from survivors, loved ones, and ones left behind.  Despite all the craziness going on, Brooke got the girls up on the truck to sign it....it was important to her. Now the girls message will travel all over the country, too.

Before long, we were off.  I was pushing Baylor Grace in a stroller, I pushed her the whole way.  When we got done, she gets out and sighs..."my legs are so tired!"  Really, Baylor Grace?  Caroline sat in the double stroller that Brooke was pushing.  She counted a whole bunch of the way, last I heard she was around 700.  Hadley, was talking on her hand phone.  Hadley wasn't making much sense, but I could tell by her tone that the conversation was very serious.  Reagan, to her credit, walked almost the whole way.  I told her that I was proud of her and that Mimi would be too.

Brooke wanted us to do something together as a family, get some exercise, and do this walk in honor of her mother. I'm not sure the girls totally understood why we were doing the walk, but we told them enough times that they started to catch on. It was a walk I originally didn't want to do, but I am glad she made me do it.    I was there for Mimi, but I was also there for Brooke....this was important to her.

It was a walk to remember for sure.  Originally I thought this was a walk I didn't want to do,  I realized it is a walk that I hope we never have to do again.