Moments in time...

There are moments in time, life, that you will always remember.  Those moments sometimes come out of nowhere  other times you have enough warning you can "prepare" for them.  There are good moments and bad moments.  Good moments like when you graduate, when you get married, or the birth of your children.  No matter how much you prepare or say you will be ready for it, it hits you like a ton of bricks.  When those church doors open and you see your wife down the isle, or when you hold that precious life in your hands for the first time...its an amazing moment.  You wait 9 months for the baby to come and you get the crib/baby room together, car seat, etc.  You are ready.  But then you hold the baby for the first time and it hits you.  Those moments stick with you forever.

There are moments that stick with you in the opposite way as well.  That moment when you realize you are old, the moment when the doctor says the word Cancer, or the moment when you say goodbye to a loved one for the last time.  All those moments stop you in time and stick with you, forever.

There are subtle moments too, sometime less dramatic but important in their own way.  Moments like the first time your kid goes on a play date and you drop them off without you.  The first Christmas when Santa is just a pop icon and not a real guy. Or that moment when you son or daughter brings home a mate and it is obvious that they are "the one."  We had one of those moments two nights ago.  A moment we knew was coming, we even looked forward to the day it would come.....but when it gets here you are sort of sad.

Brooke and I call Hadley our roommate.  Since she was born every night she has slept next to our bed.  Every night when Hadley rings the dinner bell Brooke rolls over and feeds the baby.  Some nights the baby goes back into her bed, others she cuddles with her Mom- in her Mom's protective arms.  When they are little babies like that is the only time we let them sleep in our bed. So its special in its own way.  We always joke about eventually evicting them back to their room.  Since Hadley has been born, she has probably spent more nights our room than I have.  The other night I walked upstairs to go to bed and I heard the air cleaner (noisemaker) on in Hadley's actual room.  I went to lay down and realized Brooke was in a very relaxed position, sprawled out on her stomach in bed.  Reason being, Hadley was sleeping in her own bedroom for the first time.....we no longer had our roommate.  Brooke would still have to get up a few times a night and feed her but she is getting to the age where after she eats she goes back to bed.  It is getting to the point where there is no reason to have her sleep right next to our bed anymore.  As I got in bed, the silence was deafening.  I couldn't help but be a little sad.  Brooke and I talked about how much we wanted to be able to watch TV again, have our room back to ourselves and it was finally here.  To be honest, I couldnt sleep because all the nights shared with a baby, starting with Reagan, replayed in my head.  We have done this four times and now it seems that they are all big girls and needing us less and less.  I dont think Hadley made it through the first night in her own bed/room.  But the past few nights she at least starts the night by sleeping in her bed, on her back, by herself. 

We wanted this moment to come, we longed for it, and it is here.  It is for the best and it means things are progressing like they should but I cant help be be a little sad and miss the grunts, the toots, and the 3 am blowouts.  However, the loss of those baby noises is replaced by the deep sleep of my wife.  So that is a good trade off.