I have made my feelings known about how difficult it is for me to drop my girls off at school. You would think after doing it as much as I have had to do, it wouldn't sting anymore. The truth is, it still does. Every time I watch them walk into their room, I know they need me less and less. They are all getting so big and next Tuesday, Reagan, Carolina, and Baylor Grace will all be in school. I cant believe how fast time flies. Today was Reagan's first day of kindergarten. I remember when I was in kindergarten. Today was her first full day of school. No more picking her up before lunch every day. Every day she would give me whatever sticker she got at school that day. She would smack it on me somewhere. No more of that. No more naps. No more picking out clothes for school. She is a big girl, in her big girl uniform. Now she will come home with her Mommy after school. There is a lot to be thankful for, I get that. A lot to be proud of, I know. That doesn't change the fact that my BFF for the past 5 years is getting a little more independent. I kept thinking over over this morning about the first time I held her in my arms after she was given to us. I could barely see her because of the tears in my eyes. I felt a love then that I have never felt before and that you can't describe in a blog. It doesn't seem like that long ago when I looked at the most beautiful thing ever, who is now going off to her first day of school. I know that seeing her in her Catholic outfit would make her PawPaw proud, and my Granny proud. It was a big deal for Granny to send my Dad to Catholic schools, no matter the cost. Just the same as it was for my father to do for Patrick and I. So in my sadness today, I do feel a sense of satisfaction that Brooke and I can do this for our kids.
I gave Reagan a hug and kiss and fought back the tears. As she sat in her desk ready for the day, ready for her future...I called out one last time. "Bye Reagan, I love you." She looked back and said "bye Daddy Boohoo." She already has me pegged.
For the record I didn't cry....until I got back to the car.
Now you know--it is very hard. But in the end--most of us cry baby Dads do make it. Wait until the first date--look out. Of course she will be 37 but that is a whole different story. good blog.
ReplyDeleteNow, Boomer. Just to let you know, there are so many "firsts" coming - some you won't even see coming. You can do it. Your father found "dropping the first one off at college away from home" to be just about the hardest. Also, keep in mind that this afternoon when she gets home she will at some point turn into a snake after going all day with no nap. You're a great Daddy . . .Daddy BooHoo. You can handle that, too.
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