Walking on water....

Most parents think their kids can walk on water.  Most parents think their kids are the most handsome/prettiest around.  Most parents think their kids are the next Einstein.  Most parents think their kids will cure Cancer.  The truth is generally somewhere in the middle.  I make no grand claims that my kids are any of these things.  Who knows what my girls will do?  I do know they are perfect for me, and thats what matters the most.  You also have to keep things in perspective, which some parents have trouble doing on Facebook.  "Oooh little Johnny (who is 16) put the correct shoe on the correct foot today!"  "Yes, look at little Susie, isn't she the prettiest?" Mother later wonders why no one has liked her status/pic.....

Anyway, I suppose its the way it should be.  Parents should think their kids are wonderful.  The flip side of that, parents should know when they need to correct behaviors of their kids, and not enable their kids...but I digress.  I have a saying around my work, "we aren't curing Cancer."  I use it when someone is overcomplicating something, or when someone is being too dramatic about a situation that does not deserve it.  I.J.A.F., its just a fraternity.  I say that because I want people to keep proper perspective on all things except UK sports in life.

My kids have yet to cure Cancer, they may never do such a glorious act.  Regardless, I have never been as proud of anyone or anything in my life.  Think about that.  I'm proud of my parents for working so hard to love each other after 50 years together, and for providing for Patrick and I.  I'm proud of Patrick for fighting the good fight with Dad, and for being a great example to me.  I'm proud of my in laws (both parents and brother's families), they all inspire me.  I'm even proud of the many SAE's I have come across.  From Dick Myers (former Chairmen of the Joint Chiefs of Staff), Tim Sirota- who fought in Iraq twice, to come back and start a SAE chapter at his school, and has now become a great undergraduate brother.  I'm around inspiring people everyday.

 Having said that, I was the most proud I have ever been in my life yesterday.  I have blogged about the efforts my girls have made for the boy named Patrick down in Tennessee.  As we know, Patrick passed away sometime ago.  The girls held bake sales, sold lemonade, and did all they could to raise money to help Patrick fight.  You are always unsure what sinks in with kids, sometimes they each pick something different.  About a year ago, we showed Caroline (all the girls) pictures of Patrick as he got really sick.  Questions were raised about Patrick and his loss of his hair.  When Brooke explained the hair loss, Caroline instantly grabbed onto the idea of her donating her hair to Locks of Love.  Caroline has always had the kindest hearts of all my girls, I was proud of her for wanting to do this.  Your hair has has to be a certain length in order to donate it (which disqualified Reagan and Hadley), so we couldn't cut it last summer.  About every other week, it would come up at the dinner table.  She never wavered, she never changed her mind.  Her face would always light up like a Christmas tree when we asked her about.  She. was. committed.  The funny thing about all this, is Baylor Grace would always say "not me, I want my hair like Rapunzel's!"

We knew we were getting close to the time to cut her hair, yesterday was the day.  Brooke explained to the girls that it does cost some money to make the wigs, so Caroline decided to call her family and friends and ask for donations.  Props to Pop (Brooke's dad) who was the first to be all in.  He might have been the easiest sell of all time.  She would say "I'm donating my hair today, it will cost a lot of money to make the wig, will you send some money......it doesn't matter how much you can send."  She had Brooke call just about everyone in our family, including both Brooke and Callie.  Thanks to everyone for their support.  There was a lot of celebration going on as the money raised increased to over $100.  Baylor Grace took note and decided to do the same thing.  She told Brooke that she wanted to donate her hair, too.  She (Baylor) then went through and called everyone back and asked for some money to donate.  They raised over $200 to help the non profit make the wigs that will use their hair.

This was the proudest day of my life (I think I mentioned that).  I'm thankful that the girls had the awareness, at such a young age, to do something for others.  Life is more fulfilling when you realize and live for something bigger than yourself.  Caroline never backed out, Baylor Grace joined in.  Everyone knows that one of the hardest things for people with Cancer to face, is going out in public without their hair.  Sometimes the littlest things- like having a decent wig- can give them hope and strength to keep on fighting that fight.  I am proud of my girls.  They may not be curing Cancer, but maybe they will help in doing so.

183 Steps

Dear Baylor Grace,

Every Monday, Wednesday and Friday (that I am home), I take the best 183 steps of my day.  It is 183 steps depending on where we park. I know this because we have taken the same basic route, the entire year.  The walk is only about a 3-5 minute walk, but it is something that I love.  It helps me focus on my priorities, and that walk also helps me get my mind right for the day.  Every morning, I lift you out of my truck and we begin our journey to your school.  Within the first few steps, you raise your gentle hand for mine.  I can't tell you how that gesture makes your Daddy feel.  I absolutely love holding your hand.  Normally you are talking, you talk almost the entire way.  I generally don't know what you're saying, but I listen as best as I can.  You also talk about the dead mouse we once found along our walk.  His memory lives on because you always talk about him.  We have done it in beautiful weather.  We have done it in painfully cold weather.  We have done it in the sun, and we did it this morning in the rain.  No matter what, its what I look forward to the most during the work week.

Today was my last day to do it this school year.  You don't have school on Friday, and I am gone all next week.  I wanted to thank you for always requesting me to take you to school.  It helps your mom out a lot, but it helps me too.  Yeah maybe Id work out a little more before work if I didn't take you, but it is a sacrifice I gladly make.  I don't know how much longer you will ask for me to do this, but I assure you my answer will always be yes.

I thought a lot about this past year, after you walked in the door today.  In case you are wondering, it still stings.  I feel like it always will.  It seems like just yesterday I held you for the first time, confused by the color of your eyes.  You are an angel on Earth to me.  It stings because every time you go in, I realize how much bigger you're getting, and how you will need us less and less.  You have learned your letters, you can write your name, you're even starting to read. This years walk took on a whole new meaning though, due to some incidents that we have tried to shield you from.  As a parent, you never expect to drop your child off at school and worry about an insane murderer.  I think Sandy Hook shook a lot of parents to core.  There have been school shootings before, all of them are horrific.  Nothing was as terrifying to see the beautiful, young, faces of those kids about your age.  Maybe it shouldn't be different with HS kid vs. a 1st grader, but it is different.  So letting you go, every other day, is even harder.  Then you have a tornado hit a school and some of those kids aren't coming home that day as a result.  Its just tough, you can literally paralyze yourself with fear thinking of everything that can go wrong.  It has taught me to make sure to hug and kiss you and your sisters (and Mom) everyday before we leave. You never know.  Whether its your first memory when you wake up, going into school, I leave for work, or you go to bed... I want your last thought of me, is of me giving you a hug and kiss, and of me telling you that I love you.  In the end, we just put our faith in God, and we hope that everything goes as planned.

I will miss those weekly walks, Baylor Grace.  I can never express how much you comforted me by placing your little hand into my hand.  I hope you enjoy your summer break, you have earned it.

Love always and forever,
Daddy

A walk to remember...

This weekend was my first weekend home in FOREVER, by forever I mean at least a month.  I have been working non stop, I was looking forward to sitting around and doing nothing for once.  Brooke had other plans.  A week or so ago, with slight trepidation in her voice, she asked if I would do this walk with/for her. It was a walk I didn't really want to do. Im tired, worn out.   I wasn't sure what the walk was about,  but I could tell it was important to her so I signed on.  Most Breast Cancer Awareness events take place in October,  its unusual to have something take place in May.  Regardless, this was a special walk for Brooke, and she wanted all of us to do it.

We got up and out the door by 8 this morning.  It was a cool, overcast day.  It would have been a great morning to lay in bed and watch TV, but this was important to Brooke.  We got there and we were surrounded by pink.  I saw lots of people in crazy pink outfits.  It looked as though the cotton candy monster had thrown up on Park Ridge.  I saw people of all races, ages, and backgrounds.  I saw survivors who were celebrating another day, I saw fighters who were standing strong underneath a wig.    I saw one fighter who is our age, with three kids.  This was a lady Brooke had worked so hard for during a recent consignment sale.  I probably gave Brooke a hard time for working so hard for someone I didn't know, it hit me like a ton of bricks when I finally met this lady.  I saw husbands who looked lost (as we almost always do anyway) because they were surrounded by constant reminders of the fact that they might lose their loved one in this battle, and I saw husbands (like me) who were just thankful for the good health of their spouse.

Being there brought me back to when we found out Mimi (Brooke's mom) had BC.  They pretty much found out on their way up to Louisville to visit us.  I remember a private moment when Pop (Brooke's father), my dad, and I, cried together.  We were alone and we knew it was safe to cry. I can only guess why we were crying.  I think Pop was crying because he knew the hell he went through with his Cancer, twice.  The agony of having that happen to your wife was too much for him (as it is for any of us) to bear.  I bet my dad was crying because any time you talk about Cancer, he cant help but think of what it did to his father, and he certainly didn't want that struggle to befall two people he loved.  I cried because I knew how it would effect Brooke.  Mimi is my wife's hero, her hero who was now in the fight of her life.  We brushed away the tears and tried to put on a brave face, because we are men....thats what we were supposed to do. We would go out and face this problem head on, we are supposed to be brave.  In reality, I think the only person who didn't cry (openly), and the bravest of us all that day...was Mimi.  Isn't that the way it normally is though?  The "brave men" turn to mush when the idea of something like this hits their loved ones.   The woman are the brave ones, they always are.

Mimi fought her Cancer and won, just like Pop twice did.  Just like my mother once did. You could say that Brooke and I are unlucky because 3 out of 4 parents have been stricken by Cancer.  In reality I think we ARE lucky,  because our parents have moved into the survivor category.  I remember the week Reagan was born, a news story said that a girl born today (February of 2006) would never die from Breast Cancer.  I can only hope.  Its bad enough to worry about my wife and my mothers with this awful disease.  Now, I have to worry about it for my 4 girls.    Cancer changes everything, it stays with you even when its "gone." Cancer makes you stop and smell the roses, Cancer makes you appreciate the little things in life, and Cancer gets your ass off the couch to go do a 5k in honor of someone you love.

Right at the starting line there was a pink fire truck. This truck goes all over the country in support of the women who have fought this disease.  Its covered in sharpie messages from survivors, loved ones, and ones left behind.  Despite all the craziness going on, Brooke got the girls up on the truck to sign it....it was important to her. Now the girls message will travel all over the country, too.

Before long, we were off.  I was pushing Baylor Grace in a stroller, I pushed her the whole way.  When we got done, she gets out and sighs..."my legs are so tired!"  Really, Baylor Grace?  Caroline sat in the double stroller that Brooke was pushing.  She counted a whole bunch of the way, last I heard she was around 700.  Hadley, was talking on her hand phone.  Hadley wasn't making much sense, but I could tell by her tone that the conversation was very serious.  Reagan, to her credit, walked almost the whole way.  I told her that I was proud of her and that Mimi would be too.

Brooke wanted us to do something together as a family, get some exercise, and do this walk in honor of her mother. I'm not sure the girls totally understood why we were doing the walk, but we told them enough times that they started to catch on. It was a walk I originally didn't want to do, but I am glad she made me do it.    I was there for Mimi, but I was also there for Brooke....this was important to her.

It was a walk to remember for sure.  Originally I thought this was a walk I didn't want to do,  I realized it is a walk that I hope we never have to do again.

I am a man! A man's review of Les Miserables

I am a man (not 40 like coach), I like man things.  I like Duck Dynasty, I like to fish (caught one last week), I even like hunting (although I don't do that much).  I drive a very large truck in a city that is not very accommodating for trucks.  I wear boots with almost every outfit I own.  I have a real tree camo UK hat.  I like SEC football and The Civil War.  I AM A MAN!

However, I recently watched Les Miserables for the first time.  Let me be clear, I knew very little about the musical prior to watching it.  I knew it had something to do with the French Revolution.  While I do not care much for French history, I do like military history.  I wanted to see what all the fuss was about.  So here is my manly, unbiased, review of this movie.  Yes, I did the American thing and watched the movie instead of seeing the play.

(Im just saying....)

Alright, so here is the skinny.  I do not see how Anne Hathaway won Best Supporting Actress. Don't get me wrong, Anne was good, probably great.  The problem is she was only in the movie like 25 minutes total.  That might be a generous allotment, too.  She is barely in the movie.  Russell Crowe plays Javert, and he is pretty bad. I give him credit for having the "courage" to do this movie, but he isn't very good.  Borat is in the movie....basically playing Borat.  He is pretty good.  However, to me, Hugh Jackman absolutely steals the show.  He plays Jean Valjean, a character that most men could relate to.  He did an outstanding job, seriously.

Here is the bad (other than Russell Crowe)...they sing through the ENTIRE movie.  Now don't give me the  "duh, Boomer, its a musical!" crap.  Most musicals that I am aware of, Tommy, Camelot, Showboat, (that's the extent of my musical knowledge thanks to Trinity High School English department) have dialogue, song, dialogue, song.  This entire movie is singing, and its actually sort of distracting.  At least it was for me.  I also wanted to take a shower as a result of this movie.  These people, almost all of them, were disgusting.  Also, the more I watched it, the less I cared about their revolution, and realized I wasn't entirely sure what they were fighting for?  I think this is mainly because I was over thinking my AP Western Civ class (again, thanks to Trinity), but I ultimately really didn't care about a bunch of college hippies. I actually was somewhat sympathetic to Javert, who was just doing his job.  Even Jean Valjean admits this very fact.  I sort of felt like the movie/musical was sort of a mess.

There was good though, mainly Wolverine Jean Valjean.  What a great character arc, what a great performance.  Three scenes stuck out to me, two which dealt with the same subject.  Jean Valjean had been living a life of crime for stealing bread...seriously.  Anyway, about the time he is going to be sent back to jail he is saved by a Catholic Bishop (Myriel).  The Bishop covers for Jean and keeps him from going back to jail.  As a result of this, Jean dedicates his life to God and to living a better life.  Which, to his credit, he does.  I liked the fact that this event and intervention (from a Catholic), really steered him in the right direction.   This is something that many of us can relate to.   

Now, here comes the two scenes that I loved.  Through a series of events, Jean Valjean takes the above blond hair, blue eyed girl, (not Baylor Grace) under his wing to raise.  He realizes he is now a father, and everything has changed.  The world is "full of grace, full of light." Everything he had done wrong, was gone.  Happiness was his because of her.  His only fear, is failing her.  Can't every parent relate to this? Hasn't every father to a little girl gone through this very same thing!?  The moment you hold your child, the moment you hold your girl, for the first time....it changes everything.  So here I am, a self proclaimed "mans man," on an airplane...fighting back the tears because this is exactly how I feel about my girls.  This scene really got to me, one of my favorites of the entire movie.

The second scene happened right towards the end of the movie. This is when his adopted (aforementioned) daughter comes to find her father, who is sick.  Jean Valjean proclaims that all he has done in his life, which was a lot of good, SHE was the best thing he did.  He considered her a blessing in this crazy world, and now that she was next to him, he could die in peace.  It actually was a beautiful scene, very moving.  

All in all it was worth watching, but I don't get all the fuss.  I gave you about 10 minutes out of a 2.5 hour movie.  I suppose those 10 minutes wouldn't have been meaningful without sitting through the other 150 minutes.  

Now, I need to go do something manly.  

Adversity

Some say that adversity builds character.  I disagree, I believe adversity reveals character.

Hadley with binky on 4-21-2011

Last night was a big day in our house, the Binky Fairy came (presumably) for the last time.  This is always a traumatic day in our house for both child and parent.  The time spent crying themselves to sleep is always difficult for any parent to hear, especially when you know its because of your own doing.  It was very bittersweet this time, because this is just one of those last baby hurdles that we will never see again.

Hadley with binky on 4-4-2013

After I got home from work I was told it was time.  We all said goodbye to the binky and placed them on the front porch.  The girls were literally taking bets on how long it would take for the Binky Fairy to come.  When the BF comes, she (I guess its a girl) takes the binky and leaves a gift in its place.  The binky will then be given to a new baby that needs them.  Its the binky circle of life.  We had been prepping Hadley that this was going to happen.  She fully understands what her binky is, and she understands bye.  We have had her saying bye to her binky, she goes most of the day without, but like all comfort items, it was always there when she needed it.  After a few minutes, Brooke asked Hadley to go check the front door  to see if the BF had come, and there was "Princess (a stuffed pink poodle with big eyes)," the new toy from the BF.  This was very exciting.  Carolina goes "see I told you the Binky Fairy was fast."  I guess she won the bet.  The new toy became Hadley's favorite toy du jour.... for about five minutes.    Then this conversation happened:

Hadley: (to her mother) binky??????
Mom:  They are all gone, the Binky Fairy took them.  This is your new toy.
Hadley: (Walks over to the counter where Brooke's purse is.   Brooke would often keep a spare binky in her purse.  Hadley looks at it points to the purse and says).."ehhhhh?"
Mom: No Hadley, binky all gone
Hadley: (Walks over to the stair case points up to her bed) "EHHHH?"
Mom: No Hadley, binky all gone.
Hadley: (Walks over to the front door)
Brooke: We can look one more time if you want, but binky is all gone.
Hadley (like a hawk- visually sweeps back and forth on the porch looking for a binky).

Blankey (this is her blanket she carries around with her everywhere.  I know, we arent real original with names in my house.  Brooke once had a doll named....Dolly) and Princess didn't leave her side all night.  Honestly, we were pretty good without binky until bedtime.  That's when we had about 30 minutes of crying out for binky.  Poor girl.  The big girls liked it though, they had a sleep over in the basement, because we didn't know how bad it was going to get with Hadley.  Before you knew it, Hadley was asleep.

This morning we were all waking up and getting ready for the day, when Brooke decided to wash Hadley's sheets.  Why right then? I don't know.  The three of us are in Hadley's room and Brooke rips up the sheets and out flies a binky.  Admittedly, Brooke had cat like reflexes and swipes it up in her hand so Hadley doesn't get it.  So far, so good.  The look of sadness, joy and confusion in Hadley's face was priceless. Brooke later says "I knew she had buried a binky or two!"  Really, then why undress her bed in front of her?  Anyway, now we will see what Brooke is made of.  Now the pressure is on, the adversity has hit, you could cut the tension in the room with a knife.  I was fascinated to see what Brooke would do in this enormously high pressured situation.   So what does my wife of 10 years do?  The woman who carried and brought 4 children into this world.  The person who runs the house, cleans the house, pays the bills, feeds the kids, etc.  What does a woman with all these great attributes do, as her recently binkiless child stares at her mother who has a newly found binky in her hand?  And let me say this, figuratively speaking, if you ever wanted someone at the free throw line to win the big game, its Brooke.  She has ice in her veins, nothing ever rattles her.  She is always calm, cool, and collected.

Brooke quickly hands me the binky with a frantic  "do something stare in her eyes. She panicked. Hadley now looks at me with the most defeated and hurt look in her eye and says: Daddddyyyyyyyyy! At which point she begins to cry.  Now, this whole thing is my fault.

At this point I am thinking this can go one of two ways: either she can get over pretty quick and move on, or she can grow up to be stripper because her father took away her binky.  Luckily, by the time I was leaving for work I got my usual grand send off from Hadley.  I think we are good.

I wanted to take this opportunity to thank my normally stoic wife for throwing me under the bus.  I will get you back for this.

The Good, The Bad, The Ugly, of UK

The Good- There isn't much good to talk about with this team.  I think the best thing that can be said about UK basketball for 2012-2013 is that this season is almost over.  Here is the good though, and it is really good.  We are about to receive the greatest recruiting class ever.  We have the #4, #5, #10, #13, #18, players in the 2013 class.  That is an entire starting 5 of the best players in the country.  3 or 4 of those could go straight to the NBA if allowed.  Also, these players are much more like last years class, than this years class.  They are high character, winners.  They are program builders, especially the Harrison twins.  They are mentally and physically tough, something this team lacked almost across the board.  This class will also have the best back court for UK since probably 96, probably better than Wall/Bledsoe.  That makes a huge difference.  Also, if that wasn't enough, UK very well could get the #2 player to commit on Wednesday (Julius Randle)!    That will then make it, #2, #4, #5, #10, #13, #18!  Unbelievable. All of this is not counting Derek Willis from KY and probably the kid from Madison Central.  Also, Stein, Goodwin and Proythress could very well come back next year.  We are going to be deeper than ever before.  Next year is going to be ridiculous, but that is 8 months away.  Right now we must swallow this dose of humble pie.

Also, spring football starts today, this is very exciting for once (honestly).

The Bad- This entire team is the bad. I predicted at the start of the year that this team would lose 10-12 games, the final record was 21-11.  I said the reason this team would struggle is because of weak guard play.  At least 6 of UK's losses were totally inexcusable. They were simply outworked.  I thought we would struggle because of the weak guard play, I didn't realize the entire team would struggle because of a lack of will.  Now, in UK's defense (if there is one), they lost 94% of their scoring last year, AND UK lost their best player mid year to an ACL tear.  Most teams would not overcome that.  Despite all of that, all we had to do was beat a .500 team to get in the NCAA tournament, and we couldn't do that.  We didn't deserve an NCCA bid. We can't complain, we cant cry about it, we have no one to blame but ourselves.  This is the gamble of always recruiting the best players in the country.  1) They need to be tough.  Up until this year, this hasn't been a problem.  2) Sometimes, it just doesn't work.  This team had no MKG on the team.  This is as bad as it gets, next year will be different.

The Ugly- This is a nightmare scenario for UK fans.  It looks like UofL is the best team in the bracket, Duke, Kansas and IU are the next best.  It could not have lined up worse for #BBN.  I do wish those teams the best, and I hope UofL wins it.  This is their best chance, if it doesn't happen now, it might not ever happen with Pitino.  I see a possible scenario that matches NCAA football of recent, Bama-AU-Bama- Bama.  We shall see. Only thing for sure is that we won it last year.  Regardless, UK fans should duck and cover for the next 3 weeks, its going to be ugly.

Nearer My God To Thee

What is courage? I suppose there are a lot of places you can find courage, true courage.  A soldier on the battlefield that goes back into the fire to try and rescue a fallen brother. A parent that holds their child tight when the storm rages outside.  A child, sick in bed, who looks up into her parents eyes with a reassuring look to comfort her parents so that they know the fight will continue.  Or, the courage of a parent to know when their child's fight can't.  A grandfather who holds his wife's hand when it is her time to be called to the Lord.  A child on her first day of school, a parent as they watch their baby go off to college for the first time.  Courage can been seen in a lot of different ways, on a lot of different levels.  

I find that courage is one of those things I have had to work on the most as a parent.  Your kids look to you for comfort, encouragement, to reassure them that things are going to be okay.  When your kid falls, your reaction to her falling has a direct effect on her reaction to the fall.  If you freak out, even when it looks bad, they will freak out too.  If you fight that urge, and remain calm, they will mostly likely do the same.  I remember when we looked up at the ultrasound and were told that we might have lost the baby (Hadley).  I cry all the time, the girls do that to me.  Brooke never cries.  This was one time when roles were reversed.  She cried in that hospital room, and I remember the "fight or flight" feeling building in me.  I knew I had to remain calm, I had to remain strong.  We had the girls at home to think about, and I needed to comfort Brooke.  I didn't think it was fair, we already loved our new baby and didn't want to lose her, but I had to be brave.  I don't think of myself as an overly brave person, I have a lot of fear.  This was one major time I had to remind myself to be brave, or at least appear to be brave.  Too many people counted on me.  There will always be a later time to close the door, turn off the lights, and cry.  In the end, no matter how religious you think you are (or aren't), these trying moments bring you to your knees in prayer.  There are no atheist in a fox hole.   Id like to think my wife is one of the bravest people I know.  Nothing, short of the above example, gets to her.  She is calm, cool and collected.  I draw a lot of strength from her strength.  It is contagious, as is fear.  I think that's why our girls are so well adjusted, because their mother is so stable.  

I have had a few conversations lately about this idea of courage,  I speak of it to SAE a lot.  Do you have the courage to do the right thing?  Do you have the courage to hold others accountable when it is not easy, or popular, to do so?  These are attributes I hope that SAE teaches our young men.  Generally (hopefully), what they face in college does not compare to the trials they will face in life.  I hope our values help them have the courage needed when they do face those difficult times.  Recently,  I was addressing this issue when I asked the audience if they could guess a moment that I thought reflected an extraordinary amount of courage?  Many guessed times of battle (where courage is often showed), some guessed a sports example (where I guess in its own way has its courageous moments).  I then suggested the violinist on the deck of the Titanic.  With hell, literally flooding in all around him, he made the choice to continue to play.  As a result, others joined him.  It was a perfect example of The Serenity Prayer.  

God grant me the serenity 

to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can;and wisdom to know the difference.

The gentleman on the deck didn't panic, he didn't make an effort to do anything other than what he was best at.  He knew he couldn't change what was happening, he accepted his fate, and he made a beautiful moment out of it.  That was courage.

It has been a "pleasure" to share some of my stories with you, thanks for those who continue to come back and read them.  This is a way for me to reach those I love who are far away.  Your love and support gives us strength...courage.