A Perfect Storm

Boy was I excited for this past Saturday. I had this day planned for over a month, Brooke and I were going to finally get away.  I thought what better for a night out for us than going to the recently re-opened Opryland Hotel.  The Opryland Hotel had been closed since the first of May due to the flooding rain (click here)  in Nashville.  This is not the perfect storm that I allude to in the picture above, that came this past Saturday.  I felt it would not only be a great night for us, it would be a good way to help support the hotel.  I booked this rather expensive room back in October and was hoping to give Brooke a great night of food and sleep.  I then, in a very Clark Griswoldian fashion, plan a night for my whole family down there.  We would go to the Ice Land, have dinner, walk around the hotel etc.  A fun Christmas night for us all.

I should have known this would not be the case when it took us an hour, in the pouring down rain, to get from the off ramp to the half mile away parking lot.  We then ran from the car to the place where the Ice Land was, in the rain, and got soaked.  It was a cold frog chocking rain.  We then waited outside, huddled under one golf umbrella, because there was a line to get in and no awning to protect us.  Once we got up to the door, we were charged an arm and leg (thankfully not mine) for everyone to go through this place.  The kids were free.    It was cool both literally and figuratively.  They carved ice to recreate the entire cartoon Santa Clause Is Coming To Town.  It was amazing, and there was an ice slide (sort of like the Christmas Story) that all the girls did.  I am not sure Baylor really wanted to but she didn't have much of a choice.  After that was over, we all ran back to the cars and got soaked again.  It is no wonder they are all sick.  Thankfully I was so pumped with steroids and anti biotic that I think I will be okay.  At this point Mimi and Pops thought it would just be best to take the girls home.  No walking around, no dinner together.  I agreed totally- i wanted to just sit and watch the game. 

We then go to the hotel, following the signs to the valet parking.  We have to wait in another line, at least this time we were in our cars and not getting wet.  We get to the first person and she tells us we cant valet because we aren't checked in yet.  I explain we have already prepaid our room and are staying at the hotel, why cant we valet?  She has us go talk to someone else.  He wont let me valet.  I have never almost punched a valet guy before but I was very close.  He told me something I didn't want to hear, I had to go wait in another line (at least in the car).  As I drive off, the window was still down and someone tells me to slow down.  At this point I told him to "f*ck off."  I was feeling a little perturbed. 

So we get in line and decide to ditch the car at the self park and run into the hotel.  Which we did, getting soaked again.  We then walked all away across the hotel, a hotel that was elbow to elbow with people, to check in.  The lady behind the desk was amazing and very sympathetic to our situation.  She bumped us up to a Junior Suit and off we went.  Walking back to our room, I thought the chaos was close to being over.  Our room was on the outside wall of the hotel, first floor.  The shuttle line was right outside our room and since it was poring down rain, everyone was waiting right outside our room.  As Brooke goes to use the bathroom and I sit down to watch the game and through the screaming and hollering outside I see people looking into our window.  It was very much like that scene in the John Candy movie, Summer Rental.  In fact, it was exactly like that scene. This would not do.  So we load up and walk all the way back to the front desk (tired, hungry, and wet).  Renee again moves us to the other side of the hotel (this is a huge place) to a very nice room.  Our nightmare was seemingly over.  We walk around a bit, trying to enjoy each others company which is becoming extremely difficult due to the amount of people who apparently have never seen a large Christmas tree in their life.  Also, we begin to notice that there are a ton of people with AFLAC shirts on.  That company was having a convention there and had rented out a large section of the place which shut off 4 restaurants to the public.  A wedding had knocked out another area.  I asked someone that worked there (with deep desperation in my voice) is there anywhere to eat here?  "We have an Irish restaurant and a few kiosks."  Awesome, that is what I envisioned for my wife, a kiosk of pulled pork.  The Irish restaurant had an 1 hour and 15 minute wait.  At this point everything was pissing me off, by the time we get back to the room Brooke was in tears.  She is a lot of things emotional is not one of them.  So for her to be this upset says a lot.  She jumps in the shower because it is about the only thing she can do to keep from losing it.  I decide to go ahead and order room service, at least we will eat and be done with it.  Besides on every page in the book it says "30 minutes guaranteed or it is free."  So, I call room service and wait on the phone for 8 minutes before they answer.  I tell the guy I would like to place an order and he says it will be at least hour.  Fine, shorter than the Irish restaurant, but he then informs me it wont be free.  Apparently that printed policy is for only when it is convenient for them.  I slam the phone down on him.  After cooling off, Brooke still in the shower, I call back.  Even if I pay- an hour is better than the restaurant options.  So, after the nice lady answered my call and I explained I knew about the hour delay she asked what I wanted.  Well Brooke will never turn down a Pizza.  I think if it was a good Pizza for one of her kids, she would have to think long and hard.  She is also a vegetarian, so I was going to order her a cheese pizza.  I tell the seemingly nice lady that I would like a cheese pizza...."I am sorry sir, we are out of pizza."  The phone was slammed down for the second time.  How do you run out of pizza.

I made a bee line for the front desk.  The night was done. The manager tried every way in the world to get us to stay but our night was over.  24 hours later Brooke and I could do nothing but laugh.  In the end, it wasn't the end of the world.  We did get a free night out of the whole ordeal and got home earlier the next day which was good because of the weather.

I am sorry to my wife, I really wanted her to have an easy, enjoyable night out.  Maybe in a week or two when we try again.  I love ya babe- thanks for sticking with me through this crazy rollercoaster ride.