It finally hit me...

I have a confession to make.  When I was a kid, I used to cry my eyes out Christmas night.  It wasn't because I had no more gifts to open, I was so sad about the season being over.  I love the anticipation of Christmas, the traditions, the splendor of it all.  I cried and cried those nights because I had to wait another 11 months for it to begin.  This is partially a tribute to my parents who always provided such a good Christmas for me when I was a kid, I simply hated to see it go.

I had been really good, putting on a brave face, but it hit me today (January 2, 2011).  See with the kids, the days before Christmas were amazing.  So exciting.  I didn't get sad on Christmas Eve because my parents were coming to spend the night with us.  It made everything so much better (yes they continue to produce great Christmas' for us).  We opened up our gifts, and afterwards, I wasn't sad.  While we had much to put together, I knew we were going to my parents house that night for dinner and more celebration.  We went and had a wonderful time.  That night though, I wasn't sad.  I knew the next day we were heading down to Nashville to have more celebration.  We did that Sunday, it was ANOTHER great time.  I wasn't sad though because the next day Brooke and I were going shopping/ staying the night at Opryland together.  It was a great night to lay around and not be parents.  After that night, I didn't get sad.  We had a good part of a week ahead still to hang out at my in laws house.  Something I love doing.  And while I spent much of the time on the couch, it was a great week.  We always love going down there.  The girls have a good time and we can relax a little there.  I didn't worry too much about work, I was just Dad all week.  We came home yesterday and I knew time was running out.  I wasn't too sad though because we still had a night together and all day Sunday before it was back to the real world.  Plus my parents were coming on Sunday so I had something to look forward too.

It hit me when they were here.  They were literally only here for 20 minutes.  I was sad to see them go so soon, and have been sad since.  No, I am not crying like I used too but I am a little down in the dumps.  This has been an amazing two weeks with the ones I love.  Looking back we had such a great time, anyone in their right mind would be sad to see it go.  Sure there is much to look forward to this year but you always wonder how many more breaks/Holiday seasons will be as magical, wonderful, as this last one was.

They say it is better to love and lost than never love at all.  Those of us who have had their hearts broken can tell you that the saying isn't true while the sting is still there but with time,  (when you look back)you begin to believe it.   Same thing is true with my past few weeks.  It hurts today because tomorrow the stress begins again.  But it makes me so thankful for those that I love and the time spent with them.  My kids continue to grow like weeds, and I cherish the time with both my sets of parents like gold. 

So today as we take Christmas down in my house, I am sad. I told Brooke though the countdown has begun until next Christmas.  I am an emotional guy, I know that. I feel sorry for my girls when they get married, I will be an emotional basket case!