Kids say the darndest things....

So today Reagan goes to school with something VERY important to tell her class.  As they sit around in a circle, Reagan raises her hand as high is it will go.  This is odd because its not really the time for kids to tell stories.  They are actually supposed to just sit there and listen.  Mrs, Boaz calls on her and Reagan tells her that she has something "very important to say."  She then stands up and says its so important that she has to stand up to tell everyone.  Reagan then proceeds to her entire class that her Daddy has a birthday coming up and that she thinks they should all make him a birthday card. 

She has asked me a lot lately what I wanted for my birthday.  She wanted to spend some of her own money on my gift.  Despite me protesting, she insisted.  In fact I told her she needed to spend her money on something important (not me).  She told me "Daddy your birthday is important."  Reagan, you have done enough, you gave me the most perfect gift today at school.

Reagan, I love you more than all the stars in the sky and fish in the sea!

These are her magic shoes

Sometimes the hits just keep coming.  Today, Brooke showed Reagan a new pair of sporty shoes for her to wear to school.  There could be a lot of reactions to these new shoes from Reagan.  Could be happy, could be thankful, could be a wide range of emotions.  What does Reagan tell her Mom and teachers? "These new shoes will help me run fast and catch the boys on the playground."

There are times as a Dad when you feel kicked in the stomach, without actually being kicked in the stomach.  This was one of those times.  When her teacher told me that, I wanted to vomit.  Reagan is 5, catching boys should not be on her mind.  That doesn't happen until she is like 25.  Her Mom doesn't understand why I flip out when I hear stuff like this, I don't think she ever will.  While she doesnt fully understand, I think she knows why.  Only the Dads of little girls will understand.  You know its going to happen, you know that there is nothing you can do to stop it, but it still hits you like a ton of bricks when it does.  You have this battle that rages inside of you.  Its an inevitable part of them growing up and there are parts of you that are thankful.  Thankful she is at a good school, thankful she is healthy enough to run, thankful enough she can see the object she is trying to catch, thankful enough that she isn't backing down.....even to boys.

Way to stand on your own two feet Reagan, deep down your Daddy is proud of you.  As much as I hate to see you growing away from me, I know that in some ways it is because I am doing my job as your Daddy.  A Daddy daughters relationship is very much like the story of The Phoenix.  Just because with each passing day you become your own person,  It still hurts and I'm sure it always will. However, I have something they will NEVER have, I loved you first.  There is no doubt in my mind that no matter how big you get, now matter how many boys you chase, a piece of my heart will always be yours. 

Today I was a sad Daddy....

Today was sort of a sad day for Dad.  I woke up and took the big girls to school so that Brooke and the Baby could "ease" into the day after a rough night last night.  I normally enjoy taking the girls to school because its our time before the craziness of the day hits us.  Today they were unusually quiet which meant either there were some nerves or they were tired.  Regardless, I even enjoyed the silence with them.  We get to school and Caroline goes in first.  I give her a hug and kiss, tell her I miss her already, and off she goes.  She doesn't even look back.  Then its Reagan's turn.  She hugs me, tighter than Caroline did, and is slower to let go.  I tell her I love her, miss her already, and to be good.  She takes off and about 3 steps later, turns and waves with a million dollar smile.  She then runs into class and disappears into the school day. 

Then it was Baylor Grace's turn.  We were the last ones there today, so all the kids were already in the class room and it was sort of crazy. We get to the doorway and she plants her feet into the ground and begins to cry.  She wont move.  She isn't really saying anything but you can tell she doesn't want to go in.  The last thing I want is for her Daddy to choke and have the "what do I do?" look on his face.  I scoop her up and take her to her cubby.  We look at her whoosta (rooster), I take off her pack pack (back pack) and attempt to get her to sit at a table.  She wants none of that.  She gets the bear hug on my right leg going, with her tears being soaked up by my shorts.  Her cry is only intensified when Ms. Estep trys to pick her up to wash Baylor Grace's hands.  I told Ms. Estep it was fine but truth be told it was heartbreaking as a Daddy.  I could only imagine the feeling if that was occurring because of something serious, as opposed to just school.  Ms. Estep said Reagan did the same thing but I don't recall that.  Caroline never really did.  This was a hard one for me to swallow.  I stood outside for a bit to watch and see her adjust.  After Baylor had washed her hands, Ms Estep was showing her around the room and while BG's eyes were puffy and red, I think the crying was about to stop.  I left the school sort of sad.  Your instinct as a Daddy is to protect your kids and stop whatever is making them cry.  I have always said that telling your kids no is one of the best things you can do.  Truth is, that is much harder in practice than in theory.  I wanted to take Baylor Grace home and ease her pain. 

She came running home today talking about how good she was in school, all the things she did, and she showed me her painting she had made.  She may fuss on Thursday when she goes but it wont be long before she will run into the class like Caroline does.  It will get easier and easier, for her at least. 

Today I am a proud Daddy.

Regan has now been to school for two weeks and is doing really well.  She has a girl in her class named Grayson.  This new classmate has a dehabilitating muscle disease that will eventually send her to a wheelchair.  As a result, Grayson must hold the teachers hand whenever they walk anywhere for stability purposes.  Reagan noticed this early on, she thought it was strange that this girl always held her teachers hand.  Brooke, being a teacher at Reagan's school, knew the story and explained it to Reagan.  Brooke has an amazing ability to explain anything to kids Reagan's age.  She thinks of ways that I wouldn't begin to think of which probably explains why she is such a good teacher.  Reagan accepted Brooke's explanation and we didn't hear another word about it.

In Reagan's class her teacher gives them "pebbles."  These are essentially coins. You get them for doing things the right way or doing the right thing.  Once you accumulate enough pebbles you can buy stuff.  We do the same thing at the house which is how we got a trip to Chuck E Cheese's this week, courtesy of Baylor Grace.  Today Reagan comes home and tells Brooke that she got 3 pebbles when everyone else got 2.  Brooke asked why and Reagan said that she got it because she helped Grayson get her pebbles.  She later said that Grayson probably could have gotten them but she wanted to make it easier on Grayson and save her the effort. She didnt want Grayson to struggle.  She said it in a matter of fact way, like it was the normal, appropriate thing to do.

I was floored when Brooke told me this, almost to tears.  I am not entirely sure I have ever been as proud of my kids as I was of Reagan for her actions today at school.  Being a advocate is a tough road and sometimes a lonely road.  But there is never a wrong time to do the right thing, and I was so proud of the way she handled that.  She is getting to be a big girl.

P.S.- FRIDAY UPDATE.  Reagan's teacher told Brooke today that she was so impressed with Reagan and that Reagan has really taken Grayson under her wing.  She did this on her own, such a good kid despite all my attempts to ruin her.  Thanks Reagan for giving us hope!

Happy Birthday to my blog!

One year ago today I started this blog.  Thanks to so many of you who have stuck with me over the course of the year.  I have no idea how long I will continue to do this but there is a potential of having some big life changes ahead....which only inspires me to blog more.  Thanks so much for reading (9700+ views)!

Baby blue eyes is off to school!

So today was Baylor Grace's first day of school, ever.  This was different than Caroline or Reagan's first day this year.  Even for Caroline last year, which was her first first day of school ever, she was a year older.  Baylor Grace was actually too young for the class but they let her in because they know us, Brooke works at the school, and this will be the teacher's 3rd Ayers girl in 3 years.  I barely remember dropping Reagan off that first time when she was in the 2 year old class.  I remember she didn't talk much at that point, still going through speech therapy.  Baylor Grace, on the other, talks up a storm and you can make out a good bit of what she is saying.  She is also hell on wheels.  When we dropped Reagan off, we said to the teachers "She is a rule follower, wont cause a problem, great kid."  With Caroline it was "She is a sensitive soul, sweetheart, be gentle and she will love you back."  With Baylor Grace it is simply "Good luck."

I expect her to be a holy terror in (Ms)Estep and (Mrs)Mapplesauce's (Macintosh) class but apparently it will be delayed some.  When we left her at school today she looked lost, sad, confused, sitting alone at her desk by herself.  Which of course made me sad.  She loved the idea of getting a "pack (back) pack" and I think going with me so many times to pick up the big girls, she sort of was familiar with the location.  However, she had never been dropped off and left.  She had a look on her face that was very heartbreaking for her Daddy.  She didn't cry, she sort of just played by herself at a table.

You know as a parent you want you kids to love school, fit in, make new friends, and be safe.  That's all I can really hope for with this girl too.  So much of my life and all I care about is in that hallway right across the hall from each other.  In some ways its pretty neat that all three girls classrooms are so close.  In today's crazy world, it is also a bit scary too.  When we got home from dropping them off it was just Hadley, very odd.  On Thursday even Brooke will be gone, 4 of my 5 girls (including Brooke) will be at Seton 

Baylor Grace's friend "Camel" (Campbell) is in her class but I worry because she doesn't know anyone.  Baylor Grace never met a stranger in our house but that is in her element.  Who knows how she will do at school.  Caroline came home today talking about a boy who was mean to her and your parental instincts are to go find the 4 year old boy and beat him and his parents for making your girl sad.  But, its part of being a parent.  You have to let them go and sometimes work out their own problems.  Sometimes you have to walk away and leave them at the desk by themselves, even if your instinct is to run in and hug them.

The "Mayor" has returned!

The Mayor of Seton Catholic School has returned.  Today was Caroline's first day back to school.  She was in a new classroom with a new teacher.  Caroline was so excited, not at all nervous about it.  I am convinced she is the most popular kid in the school, I have never seen a little girl kiss so many babies and shake so many hands- regardless of their age.  Everyone knows Caroline and everyone loves Caroline.  That's good too because as a parent of multiple kids, you always worry that one will get lost.  It wont be Reagan, she is the oldest.  Probably wont be Baylor Grace because she is the beauty queen, and probably wont be Hadley- she is the baby.  I am thankful that Caroline has the personality that she does.  She is such a joy to be around and such a kind girl.  You miss the little squirt when she isn't here. She is always the first one to say "I love you Daddy," for no reason at all.  Its funny too because with Reagan and I being so close, it's Caroline that likes the things I do (non sports related).  She loves Star Wars and Pirates of the Caribbean.  If you ask her what movie she wants to watch, she will tell you the Star Wars and the # (1-6) and why she wants to watch that movie.  She knows more than most men about the series and spends time reading books on the topic.  Or she will pick which Jack Sparrow she wants to watch and why.  Caroline loves super heroes and pirates.  She like bugs, digging, and all sorts of cool things.  We got lucky with Caroline and its appropriate her school name is called Seton "Stars" because she is a bright, shining, star.