One of the hardest things ever...

It is not every day you come to the realization that you have failed, today was that day for me.  I have just returned from taking Rory- one of my labs- to the Lexington Humane Society.  I could go on and on about all the things she has done that brought us to the point but none of that matters any more.  I just couldn't live with the destruction to the house (which we are trying to sell) and I couldn't live with her scaring my kids because she is so hyper- not anymore.  With 2 other dogs, 3 kids, one on the way, me on the road, we couldn't give Rory what she needed.  She needs constant attention and a job. We tried finding her a guaranteed no kill shelter but all of them were overwhelmed with too many dogs, or they weren't interested because she was 9.  They all recommended LFCHS because they have so many resources and only put a dog down when they are aggressive. That isnt Rory-

I make no bones that im a crier but to be honest I couldn't get out of the shelter fast enough.  The lady who took her could see it in my eyes and of course, Rory didn't want to go in (which made it worse). All I could tell her was that I was sorry, and that I really did love her.  In reality, I was just so sorry.  I called my parents because I know I've let them down (despite what they might say), I called my wife because I let the family down, but worst of all I let Rory down.  I couldn't be the Dad she needed.  My hope is that someone sees she has a few good years left in her and in the right place would be a great dog. 

If there is a God, I have two wishes.
1) That when it is her time to go, that she doesn't go alone.  One of the most heartbreaking aspects of this for me is that I wont be there for her when that time comes.  No dog deserves to be alone at that moment, especially one of mine. 2)  When it is my time- I honestly hope she is on the other side of the Rainbow Bridge, waiting for me for us to "never be separated again".  I hope she understands that I did love her and it was because of that love I had to try something to get her what she needs. I know she thinks I gave up on her and I will never forgive myself for dropping her off like that, I wouldn't blame her for not being there waiting on me.  I feel like I let a lot of people down, most of all, I let Rory down.